Republican Convention Day One Wrap-Up!

[Content Note: Bigotry; sexual harassment; theft.]

HOO BOY that was quite a day of turgid garbage!

I did some live-tweeting of the primetime trash parade, and I've Storified those tweets for anyone who wants to read them.

For anyone who didn't tune into ONE MILLION SOLID HOURS of Republican nightmare conventioning, here's my Executive Summary: BROWN PEOPLE ARE SCARY! HILLARY IS A MONSTER! DONALD TRUMP IS A TREMENDOUS AND CLASSY LEADER! AMERICA HAS BECOME A BIG TURD BUT IS ALSO THE BEST! USA! USA! TAKE HILLARY TO JAIL! YEAHHHH!

In other news: Chris Christie is the Commandant of Creeptown.

And finally! It looks like Melania Trump straight-up plagiarized a Michelle Obama speech. Not just any speech, either: Her 2008 Democratic Convention Speech. Her famous "One Nation" speech. And it was a section about passing on good values to your kids. LOL. You can't make this shit up.

Michelle Obama: "Barack and I were raised with so many of the same values: That you work hard for what you want in life; that your word is your bond and you do what you say you're going to do; that you treat people with dignity and respect, even if you don’t know them, and even if you don't agree with them. And Barack and I set out to build lives guided by these values, and to pass them on to the next generation. Because we want our children—and all children in this nation—to know that the only limit to the height of your achievements is the reach of your dreams and your willingness to work for them."

Melania Trump: "From a young age my parents impressed on me the values that you work hard for what you want in life. That your work is your bond and you do what you say and keep your promise. That you treat people with respect. They taught and showed me values and morals in their daily life. That is a lesson that I continue to pass along to our son, and we need to pass those lessons on to the many generations to follow because we want our children in this nation to know that the only limit to your achievements is the strength of your dreams and your willingness to work for them."

Welp.

UPDATE: And, naturally, the Trump campaign not only refuses to acknowledge the theft, but blames Hillary Clinton for trying to attack Melania:

"There's no cribbing of Michelle Obama's speech. These were common words and values, that she cares about her family, things like that," said Mr. Manafort. "I mean, she was speaking in front of 35 million people last night. She knew that. To think that she would be cribbing Michelle Obama's words is crazy."

He added, "This is once again an example of when a woman threatens Hillary Clinton, how she seeks out to demean her and take her down."

He also said: "We're talking about words like compassion, love of family, respect. These are not words that are unique words, that belong to the Obamas." Unreal.