This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

And by "worst," I mean LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL THE BEST!!! because never has the irony of sharing the moniker "Shakers" with the eighteenth-century religious sect been more glorious than in this moment:


And the headline is, of course, only the beginning of the colossal pile of awesome that is this article, in which author Bill Frezza argues that "when radical feminists publicly demand that their right to worry-free fornication be subsidized via a new government-enforced entitlement aggressively shoved down the throats of religious institutions in direct contravention to their principles, heedlessly trampling the First Amendment, it's time to use scorn and ridicule to fight back."

Fornication! FORNICATION!!!

He then, after making what he admits is a tenuous comparison between radical feminists and the religious Shakers known for their furniture, demands: "Hey Sandra, show us your furniture."

LOL FOREVER.

True Fact: I keep a fainting couch IN MY VAGINA.


Just in case any testerical gentlemen who faint dead away at the thought of women et. al. controlling our reproduction need a place to lie down.

[H/T to @JessicaValenti and @scATX.]