Okay, it's not just because I know who you are. It's also because you're an ass-flavored megadouche who waxes sincere about your "creative muse" with a straight fucking face, even as your new film prompts a reviewer for the LA Times to dryly snarl, "Watching this repugnant, angry male fantasy, I thought, 'You know what's missing? Jokes about date rape.' I wasn't disappointed for long."
I hate you, Dane Cook. I really hate you.
[Previous Targets of My Arbitrary Ire: Carrot Top, Jared Fogle, Baby Luv, The Federlines (wah wah wah!), TomKat, Carrot Top (again), "Dog" Chapman, Rick and Kathy Hilton, Dr. Phil, Carrot Top (again).]