This Is What Has Been Happening

[Content Note: Abuse; harassment.]

Over the past week, I have been talking to the contributors and moderators, as well as to Iain, to decide how to best to approach this situation. This post is being published with their consent and input.

I have written previously about the abuse and harassment I've faced as a result of doing this job. But I've never spoken directly about the most active hate site, an outgrowth of another now-defunct hate site, the members of which have, for years, been obsessively documenting everything that happens at Shakesville.

The people who run and participate in this site are largely disgruntled former commenters, some of whom left on their own after I disappointed them in some way, and some of whom were banned after violating the commenting policy. There are, increasingly, participants at the site who have never even engaged at Shakesville, but just find some satisfaction in participating in a space dedicated to the explicit purpose of destroying this community.

screen cap of a page from the hate site labeled 'Stop Listening to Melissa McEwan' to which I've added a graphic highlighting a quote reading: 'The fact is, her time needs to be finished. No more invitations to Femfest. No more quotes in mainstream media. Done. Find something else Melissa. Maybe recaps since that's the majority of your content when you're not being snide and nasty.'
[Screen cap with pull quote added by me.]

They explicitly want to chase me out of my space, offline, and want me to have no opportunities to make a living doing what I've done for the last ten years of my life. They want this community to cease to exist because they don't like me and the commenting policy, and don't care what destroying it would mean for the people to whom this community means something.

The hate site operates under the auspices of warning people—namely, you, the active commenters, whom they routinely deride as too stupid or gullible to "save" yourselves from me—away from this community, where they assert people are "abused," the examples of which are inevitably people being held accountable for violations of the clearly stated commenting policy.

But, despite their preposterous claims to be engaging in legitimate criticism to prevent abuse, they in fact engage in egregious harassment and abuse themselves—of me, of the contributors and moderators, of Iain, and, increasingly, of commenters.

What constitutes "legitimate criticism" is, for example, a thread with 472 comments debating whether it's acceptable to mock me for being fat and/or not understanding how my own body works.

What constitutes "legitimate criticism" is, as other examples, a thread discussing wanting to slap Deeky in the face, or discussing how Ana Mardoll is like a "cat lady" who will be eaten by her cats when she dies, or tracking down a WordPress test site I was using to explore alternative commenting options and then spinning wild conspiracy theories about what I was really up to.

What constitutes "legitimate criticism" is, as but one more example of literally hundreds, routinely referring to me as "Liz," because I objected to being misnamed in comments here. The stated purpose is to try to harm me. It's also a simple way of dehumanizing me: I am not Melissa McEwan, a real person, but Liz, a cartoonish version of me wholly invented by people who are making an existential attack on me and this space.

"Legitimate criticism" is their pretense for engaging in rank abuse and the dissemination of ludicrous conspiracy theories and lies, often posted by anonymous submitters, of whom are required no proof or substantiation of their claims.

Relentlessly, members of the hate site propose and promulgate all sorts of conspiracy theories and straight-up lies about me and the moderators, including but not limited to: That I am a cult leader; that I'm not invested in this community beyond whatever capacity I have to exploit it for personal gain; that I trick people into becoming moderators by feigning friendships with them; that a moderator repeatedly emailed a commenter to harass her; that I have created multiple identities to sockpuppet at this and other sites; that Ana Mardoll and I am the same person; that I have invented Iain; that I abuse Iain; that my marriage is a sham; that I live in filth; that Iain makes so much money I don't need to work; that I make lots of money; that I make no money; that I pay no income taxes; that I do not have health problems; that I do have mental problems aside those from which I've disclosed; that I am a compulsive liar; that I am lying about Sophie being tiny to get attention; that I abuse Zelly because she is "fat."

None of these things are true. I certainly don't imagine that I will convince anyone who is inclined to believe any of this garbage; the reason I am sharing this truncated list of absurdity is simply to delineate the unfathomable and varied scope of the desperate, unethical, irrational attacks that have been levied in an attempt to discredit me and anyone associated with me, without the merest shred of honesty or decency.

They aren't even consistent in their wild accusations. If one attack doesn't work (Iain is a figment of my imagination), then on to the next one (I abuse my husband), without even the slightest hesitation at the promotion of demonstrably incompatible theories.

Truth is irrelevant, when the point is simply destruction.

All of this was ignorable, as long as it was contained to being directed at me. In truth, I have never even visited the site (and I have no plans to do so). Trusted friends have kept me abreast of the goings-on, repeatedly urging me not to look at the site myself, as I've got enough abuse to process from other sources, and instead alerting me when there was something they thought I'd want to know, such as orchestrated trolling of Shakesville. All of the linked screen captures included for sample documentation in this piece have been taken by others, who were concerned for me, themselves, and/or the members of this community. I had, unfortunately, a vast store of screen captures of abuse from which to select the few provided examples.

In spite of the insistent assertion made by the administrators and participants at the site that I am a voracious narcissist who only cares for myself (the sort of person who would care immensely if untrue things were being said about them), I have cultivated over the years of doing this work a keen capacity to ignore bullshit being said about me.

I do not and cannot ignore when people decide to go after people about whom I care, in order to get to me.

There is no better evidence that, in reality, the people who inhabit the hate site know exactly who I really am than the fact that when coming after me wasn't working, they went after the people I love.

They know that I am a person who cares profoundly about other people's safety, and they have endeavored to exploit that.

They now obsessively document the contributions of all the writers and moderators to this space, including what they do in their own spaces, if they blog elsewhere. Portly Dyke, who hasn't been active on the site for years, as she's now the primary caretaker of her elderly parents, is still a target. Her professional blog has been scrutinized and discussed, despite the fact that it has nothing to do with Shakesville. When I don't give them enough fodder for obsessive discussion and documentation, they go after Ana Mardoll:

screen cap of a page from the hate site labeled 'An Ana Mardoll Break' to which I've added a graphic highlighting a quote reading: 'Since Liz isn't giving me a whole lot to work with this week I thought I'd have a peeksy over at Ana's place and see what all this Twilight business is about. Much like the Wendy Davis transcript, Ana is trudging on doing the [lord's crossed out] feminist's work and recapping the Meyers masterpiece.'
[Screen cap with pull quote added by me.]

Just her association with me makes her "fair game."

They have posted vicious personal smears against the contributors and moderators, told flat-out lies about them, mischaracterized our relationships, and demeaned them in innumerable ways.

Those words, that one sentence, cannot begin to encapsulate the breadth of hostility which has been unleashed against the moderators of this space, under the ludicrous claim of preventing abuse.

In one entirely typical instance, the site administrator justified their torrents of abuse against me by saying that people like Ana Mardoll don't understand how dangerous Shakesville is, and that she needs to have her wrongheadedness pointed out to her so that she might realize Shakesville isn't a safe space for her. That post was sandwiched in between two posts harassing Ana Mardoll.

Consistently, they justify abuse of me with claims of protecting Ana, for example, then engage in wild speculation about Ana's mental health and physical disability.

They have found Iain's LinkedIn profile and posted screen shots of it, and have discussed where he works, what he does for a living, and how much he might make. After his profile was posted, he got a flurry of contact requests from people he doesn't know, hoping to exploit his one bit of online presence, which has nothing to do with Shakesville, in order to get access to our personal lives.

A former contributor to this space, whom I once invited into my home, used my having trusted her with access to our personal lives to give verisimilitude to her tall tales of having seen in person our filthy home and my emotional abuse of Iain.

All of this is treated as truth.

Further, former commenters to this space, to some of whom I've given considerable amounts of my time and concern to help them in some personal or professional way, participate there—bitterly resentful of having been banned for repeated violations of the safe space, which only meant as much to them as it protected them, and nobody else. Naturally, they aren't inclined to share stories of Liss, who cared about them, but gleefully pile on the abuse of Liz, who is a cartoonish effigy of me. There are breathtaking betrayals out of nothing but sheer vengeance, and it has made me deeply reluctant to be as open with strangers in need as I used to be.

To make the obvious point, there could not be more compelling evidence that we made the right moderating decisions regarding these former commenters than the quality of the content at that site.

They demonstrate in every conceivable way that they are hostile to the ideas, central to the space here, of consent for boundaries and harm mitigation.

Their harassment does not stay contained at the site. It comes to me via Twitter and my inbox. When I take time off, I get calls from numbers I don't recognize, so I can't get a moment's peace. Threatening messages have been left on my voicemail, or, sometimes, just maniacal laughter, so as not to break any laws. Other writers/online activists have reported to me receiving communications admonishing them not to have anything to do with me.

And, of course, it comes to this space. Their primary beef, which I'm certain they would dispute but is evidenced in every obsessive documentation of the moderation here and the detailing of how they were "abused" by me and/or the moderators, is that I draw and defend boundaries in my own space.

So it is no surprise that they are deeply hostile to those boundaries, and have no interest in engaging here in good faith.

It is the opposite of good faith to coordinate and orchestrate shit-stirring, then come over here and do it, then run back there to complain bitterly when we moderate those comments in exactly the way they know we're going to moderate it.

They operate within this space with the goal of forcing our moderation to become tighter and tighter, and then, having been the cause of ever tighter moderation, they accuse us of being "abusive."

The pitiful irony is that they use some of the very same rules of participation at their hate site that we do here:

screen cap of a comments section from the hate site, in which one commenter is taking the admin to task: '…you believe what she's saying and explicitly state your biases. Saying that it's because fat shaming might happen is pretty weak' and the admin responding: 'Okay so anyway, no. This isn't up for discussion…'

The breathtaking hypocrisy: If I set off-topic something that I don't want debated in my space, I'm "abusive." But there, it's just eminently reasonable moderation.

(For the record, I believe anyone has the right to set off-topic in their own space whatever they want. My contention is that the same right is not afforded to me, without fear of harassment in response.)

And their "borrowing" from Shakesville does not end there, naturally. After positing a conspiracy theory about how I use the Open Threads as a sort of gateway drug to recruit sycophants to my cult, they started posting Open Threads of their own. After complaining about Shaker Gourmet threads, they started posting food threads of their own. The site admin hosts threads inviting people to share how they found their way to the space, just as I have done many times. They mock me for posting content like kitty videos, and then post kitty videos. They even use a variation on the teaspoon concept in their tagline: "Knocking down Shakesville 3/4 cup at a time."

In a nod to the possessive and projective nature of stalking, they ape me even as they claim to despise me, and they imagine me to be capable and desirous of doing the very things they do: Lying, sock-puppeting, infiltrating their space to stir shit.

But, unlike me, they are not remotely concerned with the safety of other people.

Once more, if they had contained their harassment and abuse to their space, and the direction of its trajectory toward me, I would not be writing this piece.

But they came after people I loved: They decided that, because they hate me and the policies of this space, anyone associated with me is fair game.

And they justify posting dishonest, unethical, abusive harassment of the moderators, my husband, and commenters by claiming to be concerned about them, about you. They actively harm people, and then claim to be doing it out of concern.

To state the obvious: No one is required to read this space, and no one who reads it is required to participate in comments. All anyone has to do to avoid the monster that is Melissa McEwan and her cult of abusive moderators is not read Shakesville and/or not follow me on Twitter.

I haven't written for an external publication in years. I have done a total of three on-site speaking engagements in a decade. My sphere of influence is limited to people who seek me out.

I am fully cognizant of the fact that Shakesville isn't for everyone. And the way most people deal with finding Shakesville disagreeable for any one of a number of reasons is simply not reading it.

Not that anything could justify this sort of harassment, but that underlines the point that this is an existential attack on me and this entire community. The administrators and participants of the hate site don't like me, and instead of simply ignoring Shakesville, they seek its complete annihilation.

When I take time off, and they believe it's because I'm on the verge of quitting, they celebrate.

The past week, I have been thinking long and hard about how I can continue to run this space, when I know that anyone affiliated me will be considered fair game. I cannot begin to convey the guilt and the hurt and the rage I feel that the moderators have been harassed and abused as a result of their association with me; and that which I feel because commenters are targeted as a result of their participation in this community.

And, to state the obvious, I am angry that I am being harassed and abused, too.

I have been desperately looking for a way through this, because I don't want to quit. I don't want to lose my community; I don't want to close a community that means so much to so many people; I don't want to give up on the space into which I've put so much energy; I don't want to lose my livelihood.

But I also don't want to keep it at the expense of people being harmed.

So: I have been working with my colleagues, my friends, to try to find a way to move forward while protecting people as best I can.

To that end: We are making some changes to the moderation policy. In addition to changing some members of the moderating team, moderators will now be doing moderation under anonymous moderator accounts. (Except for me. I will still be moderating under my own name.)

We have always wanted to have complete transparency regarding moderation in this space, but I have to weigh transparency against the safety of the moderators. All I can do is assure you that these changes are not being made because we want to make them, nor because we want to be anything less than transparent.

If you're angry about these changes, well, so am I. That anger is best directed at the people who forced us to make them.

I want to make it very clear that I have made no attempt to get their site shut down, and I am not imploring anyone to engage with them, and certainly not exhorting anyone to harass them in response.

If you feel obliged to do something, then you can leave a comment below saying, in no uncertain terms, that you do not consent to be harassed and that you do not want false professions of concern for your well-being to be used as a justification for abuse against me, the moderators, my colleagues, Iain, other commenters, and anyone else they see fit to harass because of their association, no matter how tenuous, with Shakesville.

I have no illusions about what will happen once this is published: The harassment will escalate.

But I am not intending to start a war.

(Or, perhaps more accurately, I am not intending to respond in kind to the one-sided war currently underway.)

To the contrary: What I am doing is shining a spotlight on what is being done to me, to the moderators, to commenters, to my colleagues, and to my husband. I am stating, bluntly, that we are being harmed. I am doing the best that I can to protect and defend the people I love, and myself, and I am staking a claim to my own space.

I needed to tell you what was happening, so that you know what we're up against and so that you can be fully informed—I can't stop them from screen-capping your comments and saying stupid things about you; I can't even stop them from going after my husband.

And I needed to tell you because I need the support of my community.

I also want to say this plainly: The moderators of this space are some of the most incredibly decent people I have ever known. They don't deserve this. None of us do. And this damnable lie that the moderators are sycophants who capitulate to me cannot go unaddressed: Every single moderator is part of the moderating team specifically because, in part, they are willing to challenge me, because they expect more of me.

Fuck anyone who wants to hurt them, or my husband, or you, because they don't like me.

That is not criticism. That is harassment; it is exploitation; it is abuse.

And it needs to stop.

[Commenting Guidelines: I am not going to allow any kind of "debate" about whether this abuse toward us is: 1. Justifiable; 2. Not abuse. Any comment even remotely along those lines will be deleted. And the only people who are going to have a problem with that, or try to classify it as "shutting down criticism" or some other bullshit that elides criticism and abuse are not the same thing, are the very people who don't engage here in good faith, and I don't give the tiniest fuck about accommodating them. And, frankly, I don't think any reasonable person, after reading all of the above, will begrudge me the absolute right to keep this shit out of my space.]

Open Wide...

Blog Note

I'm taking a few days off. See you soon.

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Open Thread

images of words like 'whoosh!' and 'bang!' and 'thunk!' in comic book styling

Hosted by onomatopoeia.

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Question of the Day

Suggested by Shaker BlueJean: "What's your most memorable scene from a movie from the past ten years? Not your favorite movie, necessarily, but the scene that comes to your mind most often."

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Photo of the Day

image of a protestor in Detroit holding up a handwritten sign reading: THIRSTY FOR JUSTICE.

Jon Swaine:
When the coast is clear, and the trucks from the contractor shutting off water for the city of Detroit have rolled away, the men with water keys come.

They offer residents whose supply has just been shut off a tempting deal. For $20, they will use their tools to turn the water main back on immediately, and illegally, sparing the household the agonising days spent without showering, cooking or flushing that have already been endured by at least 16,000 of their neighbours so far this year.

It is only the most desperate action being taken in response to the beleaguered city's aggressive campaign to recoup $89m in overdue water bills by abruptly cutting the supplies of people behind on their payments. Amid growing anger, Detroit officials agreed in court on Monday to a two-week pause, to allow poor customers to come forward and show that they genuinely cannot afford to pay. But then the shutoffs will resume.

"You're going to do what you have to do to get water back on in your home," said Valerie Blakely, a community organiser and mother of five whose overdue bill stands at more than $1,000. "As far as I'm concerned, what the city is doing is the illegal activity. You're not going to come and put us in a life-or-death situation and not have us act like we are fighting for our own survival."
Read the whole thing here.

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Gov. Rick Perry to Deploy National Guard to Border

[Content Note: Anti-immigrationism; racism; militarization.]

Republican Texas Governor Rick Perry has announced that he is sending National Guard troops to the US border to stop the inflow of undocumented immigrants, including a large number of children:

The governor's office confirmed this morning that Rick Perry will order 1,000 National Guard troops to the Texas border to beef up patrols in South Texas.

...Perry called the troops a "force multiplier" that would help DPS and other law enforcement officials deal with criminal activity by those entering the country illegally.

The guard troops will be embedded with state troopers and other law enforcement because they cannot legally detain someone on their own authority.

...He gave no indication where the funding for the operation would come from, instead saying that he hoped the federal government would eventually reimburse the state for the $12 million monthly cost of calling up the Guard.
Perry says he refuses to "stand idly by while American citizens are attacked" and that "the price of inaction is too high for Texans to pay," but this hyperbole doesn't reflect what's actually happening, which is a "small uptick in crime along the border."

The local law enforcement tasked with navigating crime along the border does not share Perry's alarm:
But sheriffs along the border said they have not been consulted and question the wisdom of sending military personnel who are not authorized to stop, question or arrest anyone.

"At this time, a lot of people do things for political reasons. I don't know that it helps," said Cameron County Sheriff Omar Lucio.

Lucio said deputies, police and the U.S. Border Patrol work well together and that they have been able to handle the small uptick in crime along the border.

"I don't know what good they can do," Lucio said of military personnel. "I need people who I can hire who know the community, the language and who can help."

Hidalgo County Sheriff Eddie Guerra also told the McAllen Monitor that the Guard troops can't make arrests and he didn't know what their objective would be.

"The National Guard — they're trained in warfare; they're not trained in law enforcement,” he said. "I need to find out what their actual role is going to be, but I think the money would be better spent giving local law enforcement more funds."

..."You just can't come out here and be a police officer," Lucio said, adding that he is concerned at the move to militarize the border.

"Eventually, they might get into trouble," he said of the Guard. "They're trained for different things."
Emphases mine.

This is political posturing, and it will come at the expense of people's safety and lives.

Imagine how many people "who know the community, the language and who can help" could be hired for $12 million monthly. So many people! Imagine if Governor Rick Perry actually listened to the people who are on the ground, and gave them the funding they need to better do the jobs they know best how to do.

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Daily Dose of Cute

image of Zelda the Black and Tan Mutt lying on the stairs beside Olivia the White Farm Cat, who's curled up on top of Iain's black workbag
Two good girls: Zelly guards the stairs and Olivia keeps Iain's bag warm over the weekend.

As always, please feel welcome and encouraged to share pix of the fuzzy, feathered, or scaled members of your family in comments.

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The Monday Blogaround

This blogaround brought to you by summer.

Recommended Reading:

Carla: [CN: Misogynoir; murder] Trial for Man Who Murdered Renisha McBride Begins Today

Trudy: [CN: Misogynoir; murder] Remember Renisha McBride and That Imperfect Black Women's Lives Also Matter

David: [CN: Class warfare] Raising the Minimum Wage Creates More Jobs

Nina: [CN: Harassment; war on agency] Massachusetts Senate Introduces Bill Responding to Supreme Court Buffer Zone Ruling

Jim: [CN: Homophobia] Indiana Woman Claims Water Park Kicked Her Out Because She's Gay

BYP: [CN: Racism; vandalism] Tuskegee Airmen Statues Vandalized in Chicago

Leave your links and recommendations in comments. Self-promotion welcome and encouraged!

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime

Des'ree: "You Gotta Be"

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Quote of the Day

"America's federal contracts should not subsidize discrimination against the American people. I'm going to do what I can with the authority I have to act."—President Barack Obama, during remarks at the White House before he signed "an executive order banning workplace discrimination against millions of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender employees of federal contractors and the federal government. The executive order has two parts: It makes it illegal to fire or harass employees of federal contractors based on their sexual orientation or gender identity, and it explicitly bans discrimination against transgender employees of the federal government."

He did not include a provision in his executive order exempting discrimination on the basis of religious belief.

Thank you, Mr. President.

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So This Happened

[Content Note: Hostility to consent.]

There is an organization called "Help a Reporter Out," known as HARO, to which reporters seeking sources can post queries.

This morning, someone who is a member of HARO (and who has given me hir consent to republish this anonymously) sent me the following listing zie found at the site:

screen cap of email sent to listserv reading: 'Subject: HARO on social justice activism | 21) Summary: Social Justice Activism and Psychology | Category: General | Email: | Media Outlet: Anonymous | Deadline: 7:00 AM EST - 21 July | Query: I am working on a piece about the toxicity of online (and offline) social justice figures and groups (think: Shakesville, [Hug0 $chwyz3r]). If you are familiar with some of the many abuses committed in the name of social justice and specialize in psychology, I would love to talk to you. The piece is being published on a well-known news and opinion website. | Requirements: Psychologist'

So, basically, someone is seeking a psychologist to quote in order to do a write-up on Shakesville, in which I'll evidently be compared to Hug0 $chwyz3r and psychoanalyzed by someone who doesn't even know me, for a "well-known news and opinion site."

I don't know who the person is planning to write this piece, nor do I know what site intends to publish it.

What I do know is that I have not given my permission to be profiled, and I certainly have not consented to let a psychologist who does not even know me publicly diagnose me and/or discuss me.

One of the things that I and the other moderators of this space do not allow is armchair diagnosis of other people. We don't do it on the main page, and we don't allow it in comments. That is rank disablist garbage. There is a particular irony that someone writing a piece on "the many abuses committed in the name of social justice" would engage in an abusive behavior that is not allowed in the space I manage in order to accuse me of "toxicity" and "abuse."

As a side note, HARO includes in its "Rules" section the following: "5. Be excellent to each other. Violating any of the above rules will result in a first time warning, and upon a second violation, being banned from the service. HARO works on mutual trust and support."

I guess that doesn't apply to the people on whom their members are seeking to write hit pieces.

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In the News

Here is some stuff in the news today...

[Content Note: War; death] In Israel and Gaza: "The Palestinian death toll in an Israeli offensive in the Gaza Strip rose above 500 on Monday as the army said it had killed 10 militants who tunnelled into Israel, while Gazan officials said an Israeli tank shelled a hospital, killing civilians. A day after he was caught by an open microphone saying sarcastically that the Israeli assault was 'a hell of a pinpoint operation,' U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry flew to Cairo to try to secure an end to the two-week conflict." Hamas killed 13 Israeli solders on Sunday, and the Israeli military killed, in addition to the militants, "28 members of a single family at the southern end" of the Gaza Strip, while, at Al-Aqsa hospital, "four people were killed and 70 wounded when an Israeli tank shell slammed into the third floor, housing operating theatres and an intensive care unit, the Health Ministry said. The Israeli military, which has accused Hamas militants of firing rockets from the grounds of Gaza hospitals and seeking refuge there, had no immediate comment." President Barack Obama has called for an "immediate ceasefire." Which doesn't look likely to happen.

[CN: War; downed plane; death] The war in Ukraine is hindering the investigation and recovery of Flight 17: "As Dutch forensic experts arrived at the scene of the Malaysia Airlines crash on Monday and promised that the train being loaded with the victims' bodies would be moved before the end of the day, heavy fighting broke out between the Ukrainian army and rebels on the outskirts of Donetsk, the main regional city and the hub of the insurgency." Fuck.

[CN: Disablism; death penalty] A study by researchers Robert J. Smith, Sophie Cull, and ZoĆ« Robinson has found that a "majority of the 100 executed inmates examined" for their research "had 'a severe mental illness such as schizophrenia, post-traumatic stress disorder or psychosis.' Yet, because of an oddity in the Supreme Court’s death penalty cases, it is typically constitutional under existing precedents to execute people with these illnesses." In fact, "the overwhelming majority of executed offenders had intellectual and psychological deficits that rivaled—and sometimes outpaced—those associated with intellectual disability and juvenile status."

[CN: Misogyny] Nathan Rabin, the writer who coined the phrase "manic pixie dream girl," regrets having coined it. I dunno. I feel like it was a useful description for a misogynist trope, and it's not really his fault that people took it and used it in a misogynist way to demean female characters as opposed to the people who wrote them. (And, sometimes, real women.)

[CN: War on agency; reproductive coercion] This may be one of the worst things you read today, or ever: "Men have a right and a role in the abortion issue." Basically, this dude thinks their role is reproductive coercion, and definitely not advocating for reproductive rights and protected choice. One word: "MENistry." Yikes.

RIP James Garner. His films and TV roles played such a huge part in my childhood. His death feels so weirdly personal, the way celebrity deaths sometimes do. I feel very sad.

And finally! Smudge the Cat defended his five-year-old guardian from bullies and is a HERO. Yay Smudge! WHO'S A GOOD KITTY CAT? YOU ARE!!!

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Debra Harrell Update

[Content Note: Criminalization of need; rape culture; racism; classism.]

Last week, I wrote about Debra Harrell, the mother who was arrested after allowing her nine-year-old daughter to play in a nearby park while she was working at McDonald's.

teaspoon icon There is a fundraiser for Debra Harrell here, for those of you who were interested in donating.

teaspoon icon Also: There is a petition here, to the Director of Public Safety of North Augusta and the Acting State Director of the South Carolina Department of Social Services, requesting charges be dropped against Harrell.

Two other things:

1. @prisonculture reported over the weekend that McDonald's has terminated Debra Harrell's employment. So, basically, McDonald's fired someone because they don't pay her enough to afford childcare.

2. I've been thinking about this incident a lot in the last week, and how the decision to criminalize a mother's decision to let her child go to a highly populated public park, with a mobile phone, is deeply rooted in narratives of the rape culture, because sexual assault is the primary thing people fear happening to an "unattended" child.

But there are children sexually abused in daycare, or by babysitters. Even when those babysitters are family members. There are children sexually abused by their own parents. It's simply not realistic, at all, to assume that Debra Harrell's daughter was in more danger because she was playing in a public park than if she'd been in the care of another adult.

And it's frankly not right to suggest that any parent is capable of making sure no harm comes to their child(ren), ever. Obviously there are parents who are truly neglectful, but this simply isn't one of those cases.

All reason gets tossed aside like rubbish in discussions of child safety, but the truth is that the best way to make kids genuinely unsafe is to make sure they can't trust adults if or when they are in actual danger.

If you teach children that other adults who think something is wrong are inclined to call the police, which results in your mom being arrested and losing her job while you're put in foster care, those kids are not going to seek help from other adults, if even they really need it.

So, you know, congratulations to the Concerned Citizens who cared so much for this child's welfare that they got her forcibly removed from her mother and undermined her ability to seek help when she actually needs it.

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Class Warfare

Is Not: Dirty socialists who advocate for the wealthiest nation in the history of the planet to provide to its every citizen access to basic human necessities including a livable wage.

Is: Reprehensible shitlords of undiluted privilege who feel oppressed by our resistance to their claimed right to bask forever unbothered in the shimmering, golden glow of their gloriously gilded bootstraps.

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Open Thread

image of an ocelot in close-up

Hosted by an ocelot.

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Open Thread

image of a vintage Nintendo console

Hosted by the Nintendo Family Computer.

This week's Open Threads have been brought to you by the letter N.

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Open Thread

image of three Newfoundland dogs: three big, hairy, adorable dogs, two of them black and one of them brown

Hosted by Newfoundlands.

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The Virtual Pub Is Open

image of a pub Photoshopped to be named 'The Pro-Choice Pub'
[Explanations: lol your fat. pathetic anger bread. hey your gay.]

TFIF, Shakers!

Belly up to the bar,
and name your poison!

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Two-Minute Nostalgia Sublime

Men at Work: "Who Can It Be Now?"

This week's TMNS brought to you by saxophone of the 1980s.

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All the Blubs

[Content Note: Animal cruelty, but with a happy ending.]

This is a video of Noisette, a Boston terrier rescued from a breeding operation in Virginia, cuddling a human for the first time:

Video Description: A small black and white dog sniffs around a thin white young man who's lying on a hardwood floor, face down, his head resting on his crossed arms. He lies as still as possible while the dog approaches him. She walks to his side, then lies down beside him with her head on the small of his back, then gives a great sigh of contentment.
It's taking a little while, but Noisette is "gradually adjusting" to life outside of a filthy cage, says Anne Wuhrer, who recently took in this tiny creature, one of 132 dogs and four exotic birds removed from a Northern Virginia breeder's facilities in early July.

..."Often survivors of puppy mills are scared, a little feral in the sense that they hadn't been socialized," says Wuhrer, who helps run Dogs XL Rescue, a Baltimore-based big dogs group that helped with the bust.

Petite Noisette is an "honorary XL," Wuhrer explains -- one who until last week had "never been in a house, not housebroken. But Noisette is silly and wants to be loved. We are just working towards her trusting us and letting us touch her."

It's happening. [T]his video, taken about a week [after her rescue], shows what it's believed is Noisette's first ever snuggle with a person -- Wuhrer's husband Chris, who lay as still as he could for 20 minutes, until the pup was brave enough [to snuggle with him].
This is especially moving to me, because a lot of lying very still to convey that I could be trusted was something I had to do when we first adopted Dudley.

(I didn't know the first thing about rehabilitating a scared dog. I just did the only thing I could think of that might communicate to my dog that I was never going to hurt him.)

Good luck in your new life, Noisette. I wish you an infinitude of comforting snuggles.

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