[Content Note: Homophobia; dehumanization; Christian supremacy.]
After Ireland voted overwhelmingly to legalize same-sex marriage, it was only a matter of time before some cool bro at the Vatican had some cool shit to say about it:
"I was deeply saddened by the result," Cardinal Pietro Parolin, the Vatican's secretary of state, said at a conference in Rome on Tuesday night. "The church must take account of this reality, but in the sense that it must strengthen its commitment to evangelisation. I think that you cannot just talk of a defeat for Christian principles, but of a defeat for humanity."A defeat for humanity! Holy shit! Why wasn't Bruce Willis sent in a moonbuggy with an Aerosmith power-ballad to take it out then?!
Pro-tip: Using language that sounds like it came off the script of a 1990's Michael Bay film to describe a referendum that makes the institution of marriage slightly more inclusive makes you sound like a hyperbolic dipshit.
Obviously, everything about this quote is terrific [insert Michael Bay SPARKS! here], but what I love most about it is how it manages to simultaneously imply that all of humanity is Christian and imply that anyone who supports marriage equality is not human.
Keep up the great work, Vatican!
[Commenting Guidelines: Please take the time to make sure any criticisms are clearly directed at the Catholic Church leadership and not at "Catholics," many of whom are themselves critical of the failures of Church leadership.]