Dump Trump with Integrity: Part Two

[Content Note: Disablism; appearance and name mockery.]

Earlier this month, I wrote a piece in which I explained that I don't care what Donald Trump looks like and that I'm not interested in armchair diagnoses of his mental health. Noting that Trump is himself an inveterate bully, I argued: "We must fight in a way that does not simply replicate the very harm we're resisting."

Still, there remains an endless stream of lookism, fat hatred, disablism, and name mockery up and down my social media timelines.

Almost exactly a year ago, before Trump had even won his party's nomination, I wrote a piece about why that's a problem, on several counts:
If you care about not stigmatizing people with mental illness, or not tacitly condoning looks-based bullying, or allowing people to go by whatever name they choose (which has particular importance to trans people), then you will be keen to find other ways to talk about Donald Trump.

Which is to say nothing of the fact that calling him crazy, or making fun of his appearance, or mocking his name, doesn't convey even a little how heinous his policies are and what a dangerous person he is.

That's why it's important to say what you mean. If you mean Donald Trump is indecent, say that. If you mean that Donald Trump is a bully, say that. If you mean that Donald Trump is a vainglorious poseur who incessantly disgorges rank bigotry masquerading as policy, then say that.
I then acknowledged that it can be useful—and feels good—to have some creative shorthand to convey just how terrible Trump is, so I provided 50 ways to say that Trump is the fucking worst that don't rely on appearance or name mockery, nor entrench stigma around mental illness.

Since here we are, a year later, and Trump is now the president (shudder) and the shitty language used to talk about him is more prevalent than ever, below are 50 more creative ways to say that Trump is the fucking worst. Please feel welcome to borrow them as needed!

Or, you know, come up with your own. If I can come up with a hundred of them, everyone else should be able to come up with one, and avoid the lazy shorthand of calling him fat, orange, and crazy.


1. Donald Trump is a diabolical scourge.

2. Donald Trump is a tyrannical goblin with a chronic case of the mouthshits.

3. Donald Trump is a nightmarish creepazoid with infinite apathy for people who aren't just like him.

4. Donald Trump is Russian nesting doll of character defects.

5. Donald Trump is a mendacious gasser.

6. Donald Trump is the unrivaled czar of the deplorables.

7. Donald Trump is the vomitous conductor of a chorus whose only tune is white aggrievement.

8. Donald Trump is a contemptible hope thief.

9. Donald Trump is Putin's favorite dolly.

10. Donald Trump is a despotic blunderbuss.

11. Donald Trump is a vengeful carbuncle who cares about "law" and "order" only insofar as he can wield them to harm marginalized people.

12. Donald Trump is a despicable flim-flam man.

13. Donald Trump is a galactic empathy-free zone.

14. Donald Trump is an insalubrious slop-monger.

15. Donald Trump is a rumbumptious conspiracy cowboy.

16. Donald Trump is a human assembly line of uncapped crap juice.

17. Donald Trump is a white rage wrangler.

18. Donald Trump is a repugnant specimen of predatory putrescence.

19. Donald Trump is a leering clawbaw.

20. Donald Trump is a scummy gremlin whose cup runneth over with rancid hate-bisque.

21. Donald Trump is a vainglorious gold toilet aficionado who believes wealth is an acceptable substitute for decency.

22. Donald Trump is the anthropomorphized sound of stomping.

23. Donald Trump is a mince-talking numpty.

24. Donald Trump is a torpid stooge.

25. Donald Trump is an ambulatory receptacle of humanity's worst instincts.

26. Donald Trump is an inexhaustible ruiner of dreams.

27. Donald Trump is a prodigious connoisseur of white resentment.

28. Donald Trump is an unbridled cad.

29. Donald Trump is a galloping roaster.

30. Donald Trump is an intemperate grumbletonian who thrives on invented negativity.

31. Donald Trump is the living embodiment of a steam engine whose tank has been filled with bile.

32. Donald Trump is a bigotry curator.

33. Donald Trump is a vaccine against citizen indifference.

34. Donald Trump is a picnic basket filled with dogshit sandwiches.

35. Donald Trump is a white supremacy cyclone.

36. Donald Trump is the human equivalent of a dumpster view out your hotel window.

37. Donald Trump is a noisome jackass.

38. Donald Trump is King Crumblebun of the Wilted Glade.

39. Donald Trump is a mighty fart.

40. Donald Trump is a conniving bandit.

41. Donald Trump is a reprehensible lout whose only joy is cruelty.

42. Donald Trump is an empty shell with a façade of intolerable pomposity.

43. Donald Trump is an enormous syringe of poison.

44. Donald Trump is a filthy soul-crusher.

45. Donald Trump is a self-propelling Rube Goldberg machine that always ends in catastrophe.

46. Donald Trump is a policy sewer.

47. Donald Trump is a towering edifice of malevolent rot.

48. Donald Trump is a stupendous shitlord.

49. Donald Trump is a skinbag filled with whiny entitlement and hideous malice.

50. Donald Trump is a breathing portrait of toxic masculinity.

You're welcome.

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