[Content Note: Misogyny; gender essentialism.]

This is just a real thing in the world: "Women Are Not Capable of Understanding Goodfellas."

Here is an actual thing that an actual adult human being named Kyle Smith wrote in this actual column:
[Goodfellas] takes place in a world guys dream about. Way down deep in the reptile brain, Henry Hill (Ray Liotta), Jimmy the Gent (Robert De Niro) and Tommy (Joe Pesci) are exactly what guys want to be: lazy but powerful, deadly but funny, tough, unsentimental and devoted above all to their brothers — a small group of guys who will always have your back. Women sense that they are irrelevant to this fantasy, and it bothers them.
OMG STOPPPPPPPPPPPP LOLOLOLOLOLOL. What are you even writing in the year of our lord Jesus Jones two thousand and fifteen, fool?

But the real reason women are not capable of understanding Goodfellas is because women just don't appreciate all the ball-busting. And there is SO MUCH BALL-BUSTING, according to Kyle Smith:
The wiseguys never have to work...which frees them up to spend the days and nights doing what guys love above all else: sitting around with the gang, busting each other's balls.

Ball-busting means cheerfully insulting one another, preferably in the presence of lots of drinks and cigars and card games.

...Women (except silent floozies) cannot be present for ball-busting because women are the sensitivity police...

...What [guys hanging out together would] much rather do than discuss problems and "be supportive" is to keep the laughs coming — to endlessly bust each other's balls.

At its core, "GoodFellas" is a story of ball-busting etiquette...

...Henry saves the day by returning the ball-busting: "Get the f - - k outta here."

...Billy Batts...breaks ball-busting etiquette in two ways. One, he's not really one of the guys (he belongs to another crime family), and two, in the guise of breaking Tommy's balls, he brings up something serious...

...Later, Morrie, the wig merchant, must also die for improper ball-busting.

Even Karen's (Lorraine Bracco) relationship with, and eventual marriage to, Henry is based on ball-busting.

...Karen doesn't realize it, but she has successfully broken Henry's balls.
"Hey, Kyle, can you please fit the words 'balls,' 'busting,' and 'ball-busting' into this piece at least 100 more times?"—No one.

Remember how just earlier today, I was saying that men tend to dismiss female critics by saying they don't understand something, instead of accepting that maybe those female critics simply came to a different conclusion?


Like what you like, bros. If I don't share your opinion, it doesn't mean that I don't understand it. (Would that I could navigate the world without proficient fluency in the dominant white hetero cis male culture!) Sometimes it just means I think it's crap.

As it happens, I actually enjoy the movie Goodfellas. I don't, however, view it as aspirational tale of peak humanity.

I understand why a lot of dudes do, though.

I stay away from those dudes. As much as possible. Which is a mutually beneficial policy. Women are irrelevant to this fantasy, after all.

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