Today in Can't Fu@#ing Win

[Content Note: Misogynoir.]

Actress Mo'Nique, who in 2010 won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for her role as an abusive mother in Precious, has not been seen in prominent roles since. And she says that's because she's been blackballed for being difficult:

In an essay to be published in the 27 February issue of the Hollywood Reporter, seen by E! News, the 47-year-old actor said she only found out a few months ago that she had been deemed persona non grata by studios.

"I got a phone call from [Precious director] Lee Daniels," said the actor. "And he said to me, 'Mo'Nique, you've been blackballed.' I said, 'Why?' And he said, 'Because you didn't play the game.'"

...Mo'Nique goes on to suggest that her absence from the screen—the actor has just a handful of relatively minor film and television credits between 2009 and last year's Blackbird—is because she is "difficult," "tactless," or "tacky."

...Daniels issued a statement to the Hollywood Reporter, which reads: "Mo'Nique is a creative force to be reckoned with. Her demands through Precious were not always in line with the campaign. This soured her relationship with the Hollywood community. I consider her a friend. I have and will always think of her for parts that we can collaborate on, however the consensus among the creative teams and powers thus far were to go another way with these roles."

I mean, that sounds like Daniels is the one who blackballed her, by telling everyone how "difficult" she was, but okay, sure: Let's talk about her character.

Actually, let's don't. Let's instead talk about how being "demanding" gets a black woman blackballed in the film industry, but Christian Bale can still have a massive career after screaming abuse at people on set, and Charlie Sheen can still have a lucrative career after multiple acts of violence against women, and Mike Tyson can launch a film career after being convicted of rape, and Mel Gibson can still make bank after an epic series of events revealing he is awful, and Woody Allen and Roman Polanski are still making films with A-list actors, and and and.

But Mo'Nique was "difficult" on set.

Especially in the same week as Jessica Williams was being told to "lean in" so she can get a job for which she doesn't even feel ready, I find it interesting (by which I mean: FUCKING TERRIBLE) that Mo'Nique is basically being told she should have "leaned out." Demand what you want! But don't be difficult about it!

So, if you are a black woman who is perceived as failing to do everything you can to further your career (in the way a white supremacist power structure has deemed the "correct way"), then you are a victim of "imposter syndrome." And if you are a black woman who is perceived as failing to be sufficiently diplomatic while doing everything you can to further your career (in the way a white supremacist power structure has deemed the "correct way"), then you are difficult and tactless and tacky.

If you are a black woman who fails to inhabit the magical goldilocks perfect middle balance of assertive and deferential while trying to professionally protect yourself, then you don't win. And please pay no attention to the fact that the game is rigged, because that magical goldilocks perfect middle balance doesn't fucking exist.

All of which is a really long way of saying: Fuck this bullshit. Like Mo'Nique is demanding and Pacino ain't. Please.