Cool Goals

Yesterday, I read this amazing article [CN: racism] about how, and I quote the headline, "Val Kilmer's goal is to become his generation's preeminent Mark Twain impersonator."

Sure. Obviously. Cool goal, bro.

It made me think of how, when I was a wee child with an even more pronounced lisp than I have now, I wanted to be "the world'th foremotht bat exthpert." And, hey, I'm only 38—there's definitely still time.

I was thinking all of us probably have cool goals we'd like to share. Like how Deeky wants to become the most famous person in Google image search with a dildo next to his face. Or how, if the whole bat expert thing doesn't work out, I want to own my generation's most coveted collection of Abe Vigoda paraphernalia.


I am so jealous of Larry and Eric.
What I'm saying is: Have fun making up silly goals in comments.