According to
A mom cave is the place where the woman who nurtures everyone goes to nurture herself, said Elaine Griffin, New York City interior designer and author of "Design Rules: The Insider's Guide to Becoming Your Own Decorator." She coined the term mom cave with HomeGoods. (It's really a woman cave but mom cave sounded better, she said.)
It's a natural evolution from man caves, the saying "If mom's not happy, nobody's happy," and the idea that it's OK to have me time, she said. The next logical step was a space for the me time.
"We saw women all over the country beginning to take that space for themselves, whether it was an extra room they could actually dedicate to themselves or just a space they could carve out for themselves," she said.
"It's a space a woman can go to and say, 'All right husband and kids, when this door is closed I'm off duty.' "
It's not simply a room for doing nothing. Unlike men, women relax by doing things, so they need storage and a place to work, Griffin said.I didn't know drinking gin was a "thing" nowadays, but sure, why not? I did, however know that all women are moms, because no doy.
This is where Courtney Cachet's brilliant critique comes in [TW: ableist langauge]:
"Here's what I really don't get. Man Caves, which I have written about a few times, are a total home decor phenomenon. Why? Because they're bad ass. Tricked out media rooms with movie screens, stereo systems, pool tables and lots of liquor and sports. Awesome, right? Mom Caves, by contrast, are not entire rooms, but "nooks" and "little spaces", "even a closet will do nicely" one article on Mom Caves stated! Also, you better like pink, damask and Rococo. Maybe we'll do crafts or think up new Bundt cake recipes in there! Then we'll pipe in some meditation music so we can "chill out" or meditate in our "sanctuary". My sanctuary? Sanctuary?? My husband would be checking me into the psych ward in a hot minute.Fucking right they do. Worse yet, they don't find you and instead find sunblock to apply to their stuffed animals or an entire pile of clean clothes to dress said greasy animals.
What I find particularly irritating is The Man Cave gets entire rooms, entire floors or basements. He gets all the cool gadgetry, and fantasy like decor. Not Woman, but The Mom gets a closet or a nook where she can paint it pink, light scented candles, read Chicken Soup For The Mom's Soul or paint her toenails pink and listen to Yanni. Call me crazy, but I think I'd rather be a dude in this scenario. Wait, what about the single ladies? No cave for you, bitches! First you have to pop out a couple of bambinos and pack on 10 lbs. Only then are you worthy of your own pillow filled room!
The whole notion of this room works much better on paper. I live in a pretty spacious house. I work from home about half the work week. I have tried countless times to hide from my kids and guess what? They always find me. Always!"
What I find works is having my
All I'm saying is that I'm a lady who likes to drink gin and play Xbox. Sometimes this involves feeling like a failure as a parent, and sometimes this means waiting until my daughter's asleep to cull the plastic herd enough to allow me to park my butt on the couch. And during football season, I'm sorry sweetie, but the game is on. Maybe if you're good, we'll skip the Sunday night game in favor of Blue's Clues (especially if the Cowboys are playing).
Despite what this essay implies, my partner and I nurture our asses off like whoa. Yet in contrast to the implications of mom caves, part of this nurturing involves taking time to not care what other people think, even if this means doing the manly work of "doing nothing."
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