At the moment, I am feeling very demoralized by and scared at the precipitous pace at which the Republican Party is consolidating power. I am feeling very angry at the people who enable them with material support and at the people who abet them with indifference. And I am feeling tired.
I am trying to prioritize self-care — I just scheduled a doctor's appointment I've been putting off — and focus on the things that make me feel good, no matter how small: Last night (and the night before), Iain brought me a perfectly made cup of tea, unbidden, and after thanking him, I held the cup in my hands and consciously thought about how lovely its warmth felt against my skin; how beautiful the tea looked inside the mug; how much I love my friend who gifted me that mug, 15 years ago; and how grateful I am to have such a thoughtful partner who can make such a damn fine cuppa, and is willing to make one for me.
I am trying to live the fullest life I can in those moments. They are easy to skip past and through, but they are precious to me — especially when I give myself the permission to luxuriate in their value.
I need every moment possible to be a moment of contentment, to counteract the long hours I spend documenting frightening and infuriating things.
The chaos we are experiencing is horrendous, but it does make the tiniest moments pregnant with possibility for restoring equilibrium, even if only fleetingly, through the simple act of appreciation.
Also: I feel the urgent pull to appreciate every little thing now, because I feel so much slipping away.
How are you?
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