Emo Prince vs. Trump: Emo Prince Always Wins

I don't know if you know this or not, but current President of the United States Donald Trump used to tweet a lot about Kristen Stewart and her former fucking boyfriend Robert Pattinson. Trump had a number of very cool opinions about their relationship and used to tweet those opinions in a perfectly normal and healthy way.

Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again--just watch. He can do much better!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 17, 2012

Lots of response to my Pattinson/Kristen Stewart reunion. She will cheat again--100 certain--am I ever wrong?

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 18, 2012

So many tweets & stories on Stewart/Pattinson Look, it doesn't matter-- the relationship will never be the same. It is permanently broken.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 19, 2012

Everyone knows I am right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart. In a couple of years, he will thank me. Be smart, Robert.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 22, 2012

Robert Pattinson is putting on a good face for the release of Twilight. He took my advice on Kristen Stewart...I hope!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 9, 2012

After Friday’s Twilight release, I hope Robert Pattinson will not be seen in public with Kristen--she will cheat on him again!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 13, 2012

Etc etc etc. Just normal stuff. Blink. Gulp.

Anyway, Robert Pattison — about whom I used to write silly stuff because I like him, and if a day ever comes again when we are not teetering precariously on the brink of global thermonuclear war, I will quit writing about politics and never publish anything again unless it is about Robert Pattinson's glorious hair — is doing promotions for a new movie, and, during an interview with Entertainment Weekly, he was asked about Trump tweeting about him. And his answer is suitably amazing.

Does it seem somewhat surreal that the current president of the United States once wrote a bunch of tweets about you?

[Laughs] I think there's so many different levels of it. Your identity exists on many different planes at the same time and they all can be quite different from each other. When he said that, it didn't really mean anything. But I guess now I'm sort of thinking, like, "Well, I guess that is related to me." But how does that fit in with all the other things going on in my life? And sometimes you think, "Can I use this in my acting? Or should I be putting it away?" It's kind of interesting, I guess. I don't know — this could be why people get annoyed with me.

That is a perfect response. For a dozen different reasons. But chiefly because it isn't about Donald Trump at all.