Look, I'm Not Saying I'm Hot Shit, But My Favorite Fishmonger Thinks I Am

I know there are a lot more important things going on in the world (see: the entire rest of today's posts), but sometimes you just have to take a break to remember that Gwyneth Paltrow is still out there saying things that make you emit enough rage-laughter to fill entire galaxies.

To wit:
For Paltrow, the criticism over the phrase ["conscious uncoupling," which she and her ex-husband Chris Martin used to describe their divorce] was just another example of the blowback she feels she has received since rebranding herself as a lifestyle guru with her website Goop.

"It's got a few layers to it," she says of the backlash. "People were fine with me as an actress, but with Goop it was like, 'Stay in your lane.' Women in general get a lot of pushback, especially if you're successful and attractive … I'm not saying I'm attractive. I mean when you're considered attractive."

I love Paltrow's particular brand of privileged ignorance so much. Enough self-awareness to note that she shouldn't brag about being attractive, but zero awareness of the fact that her contention attractive women "especially" get pushback is stinking horseshit.

Naturally, I'm not unaware of the fact that conventionally attractive and/or thin women are obliged to weather not being taken seriously and their own versions of body policing. But every conventionally attractive and/or thin female friend who's ever had a candid conversation with me about our respective lived experiences has been astonished by how very different my life looks as a fat and "ugly" woman.

[Content Note: Sexual harassment] Not long ago, I read a piece by a woman who said she figures she must be reasonably attractive since she is frequently the subject of street harassment and unwanted come-ons. That old chestnut.

In addition to entrenching the gross narrative that sexualized harassment is a compliment, it also reflected a common perception among conventionally attractive and/or thin women: That no fat/ugly women get sexually harassed by people who imagine they are "flattering" us.

MRAs who shout at me about how unfuckable I am will never believe it, but the fact is that I've never lacked for sexual attention—and just like any other woman who enough men find desirable, some amount of that attention is delivered in the form of unwanted sexual harassment.

I get it from both sides: The classic "wanna fuck ya" catcalling, and the specially packaged "you're unfuckable so get out of my sight" shaming.

That's not an unusual experience for women who are not conventionally attractive. We get the same shit as women who are, plus the flipside.

That's just one example. It's something I've experienced a lot—more privileged women assuming that what they experience and what less privileged women experience are two sides of the same coin. And it's rarely true. To the contrary, it tends to be that less privileged women get the same bullshit, and the extra bullshit conceived just for us.

Anyway. Leave it to Paltrow to express the perfect encapsulation of this fucked-up dynamic. Of course no one suffers as greatly as she.

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