Primarily Speaking

image of unoccupied podiums on a stage set for a presidential debate

Are you all SO EXCITED for the FIRST REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE which will happen in a mere TWO DAYS in Cleveland?! And which will feature the TOP TEN of the fully SEVENTEEN candidates, as determined by polls in which Donald Trump is currently leading because of course he is?! If you are SO EXCITED that you can barely contain your OVERFLOWING ENTHUSIASM, please check this box: □

Based on the polling criteria Fox is using to determine which ten bozos can appear at the debate, it looks like the ten likely debators will be: Donald Trump, Jeb Bush, Scott Walker, John Kasich, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz, Mike Huckabee, Chris Christie, Ben Carson, and Rand Paul. Good fucking grief. What a line-up.

Depending on the results of the most recent polling, it looks like Kasich is going to edge out Rick Perry. SO SORRY, RICK PERRY! You really might as well drop out now, dude, seriously, because you've got way more name recognition than Kasich, so that means people are actively not choosing you at this point. Go home. Take a nap.


Here are the quick hits...

[Content Note: Violent rhetoric] New Jersey Governor Chris Christie again demonstrated his fine diplomatic skills over the weekend by calling the national teachers' union "the single most destructive force in public education in America" who deserves to get punched in the face. This fucking guy.

[CN: Classism] Something something Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker something something lots of credit card debt. Okay. I dunno, y'all. This strikes me a lot like the "Scott Walker didn't graduate from college" stuff. And it's coming from his own side of the aisle. Every Republican candidate wants to position themselves as "outside the elite," but then when there is a guy who shares in common some pretty typical things with people genuinely outside the elite, they scoff at him. I see you, Republicans.

Walker is a terrible governor who finds his policies at the bottom of a garbage dump in Indiana, so I don't really care if he's got credit card debt and doesn't have a PhD in Kochology or whatever.

This was just a real thing trending on Twitter last night:

screen cap of a trending item on Twitter reading: 'Ted Cruz shows how to cook bacon with machine gun'


On the other side of the aisle, Vice President Joe Biden is reportedly still thinking about running for president. Okay.

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.

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