Here is some stuff in the news today...
[Content Note: Some images may be NSFW] Substantia Jones, the genius behind The Adipositivity Project, has launched a new Tumblr called Fat People Flipping You Off, and IT IS GIVING ME LIFE TODAY. Naturally, I had to immediately take a picture of myself and submit it, because, as y'all know, I've been a fan of being fat and flipping people off FOR YEARS! You can submit your own picture here.
*insert sound of ticker tape* And now for the stock market news: "The global stock market panic appeared to be easing Tuesday as US markets opened up following a dramatic sell-off by investors around the world dubbed 'Black Monday.' On Monday the Dow Jones industrial average crashed more than 1,000 points when it opened, ending the day down 586 points, or 3.6%. In the first two minutes after the opening bell on Tuesday, the Dow rose 300 points and was up 372 points, or 2.35%, before noon. The S&P 500 was up 2.43% and the Nasdaq 3.29%, also reversing much of their Monday declines." Bulls and bears and bells! This investment expert's advice? Stick your money under your mattress!
[CN: Racism; over-policing] In good news: "A new judge in Ferguson, Missouri, has halted court practices that were seen as a major factor in unrest over the shooting of unarmed black teenager Michael Brown a year ago. Judge Donald McCullin cancelled arrest warrants issued before this year, mainly to African Americans. Defendants of minor offences will also be offered alternatives to prison. It follows a US justice department report that found the police in the city unfairly targeted black people. The report, released in March this year, said court officials and the local police were exploiting people to raise revenue." So that's very good. Except: "Part of the sweeping changes to court practices announced by municipal Judge McCullin on Monday include offering defendants options to dispose of their cases, such as payment plans and community services." Those payment plans? Can wreck people financially for years. Honestly, what needs to happen is that "community policing" that essentially boils down to using municipal violations to make money just needs to stop the end.
[CN: Terrorism; guns; injury] Deserved: "At a ceremony on Monday, French president François Hollande presented three Americans and a Briton with France's highest honor for subduing [a gunman on on a Paris-bound Thalys train on Friday], while [Mark Moogalian, 51, an American-born professor at the Sorbonne, who was shot attempting to tackle the gunman] was being treated in Lille for the injuries he sustained during the attack. He is expected to recover and will receive the Légion d'honneur later. A young French banker who also intervened has asked for anonymity and will also be presented with the award, but at a private ceremony."
[CN: Misogynoir] Good fucking grief: "A group of black women were escorted off of a train taking them on a wine tour after a white woman complained they were laughing loudly. After the women, who are all members of a book club, exited the train they were met by a group of police officers. No charges were filed. ...The complaint that this is 'not a bar' is perplexing considering the primary purpose of the train is to serve alcohol. A maître d' also told them they were making too much noise. Asked who was complaining, he said that 'people's faces are uncomfortable.'" Jesus Jones. For the record, laugh loudly around me all you want! I love listening to people laugh loudly!
[CN: Homophobia; violence; terrorism] Among their other many reprehensible policies and actions, the Islamic State is also ruthlessly, violently homophobic: "They hunt them down one by one. When they capture people, they go through the person's phone and contacts and Facebook friends. They are trying to track down every gay man. And it's like dominoes. If one goes, the others will be taken down too." Sob.
[CN: Racism] Black American Airlines employees have appealed to US Attorney General Loretta Lynch to investigate their on-the-job treatment: The "employees at Reagan National and Philadelphia International airports say they have been subjected to racial taunts and are routinely assigned unsafe equipment and the most difficult tasks. ...'I was told by one manager to go back out to that plantation, go back out to the cotton field. They thought it was hilarious, but I didn't think it was one bit funny,' said a woman who has worked as a counter and gate agent for more than 30 years at National, which occupies a site that once was a 1,000-acre plantation." Fucking hell.
Oh nooooooo this poor kid: "A 12-year-old Taiwanese boy lived out a slapstick nightmare at the weekend when he tripped at a museum and broke his fall with a painting, smashing a hole in it. Exhibition organisers said the painting was a 350-year-old Paolo Porpora oil on canvas work called Flowers, valued at $1.5m." You break it; you buy it! Just kidding. The collection is insured, and the damage will be repaired as best as possible.
Speaking of ART: "Woman Sees Trump's Face in Her Tub of Butter." LUCKYYYYYYY!
[CN: Some images/lyrics may be NSFW] Here is Tom Hardy lip-synching to EVERYTHING. You think that's hyperbole? It's not!
And finally! A British woman spends a whole lot of time and money and energy rescuing a stray dog in Greece who saved her from an attack. Best! Friends! Forever!