Primarily Speaking

image of Rick Perry, to which I've added text reading: 'I'm like a stopped clock, baby: Occasionally right by accident, and two idle hands.'

Oh damn! Former Texas Governor and founding member of the Losing to Mitt Romney Before He Lost to Barack Obama Club Rick Perry said something ominously accurate while peddling his political wares in South Carolina: "Something I want you all to think about is that the next president of the United States, whoever that individual may be, could choose up to three, maybe even four members of the Supreme Court. Now this isn't about who's going to be the president of the United States for just the next four years. This could be about individuals who have an impact on you, your children, and even our grandchildren. That's the weight of what this election is really about." Soooo don't vote for Rick Perry!

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, who, if he decides to run will probably win the nomination despite wreaking havoc in Wisconsin simply because he looks resoundingly reasonable compared to the rest of the bozos in the clown car, has repeatedly tried to pass a law requiring doctors to lie to pregnant people "if the doctor feared [they] might get an abortion." What a terrific dude!

[Content Note: Fat hatred] Well, this is a fun new way of reminding everyone that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is fat: "During the past five years as New Jersey's governor, Chris Christie (R) used his expense account to spend about $300,000 on food and alcohol, according to an analysis by New Jersey Watchdog. The governor spent a total of $360,000 using his expense account—about 80 percent of which went toward food." Is that a lot? Compared to previous New Jersey governors? Compared to governors of other states? Is that a reasonable amount for a public figure who entertains lots of visitors? Who knows?! There's no context! But it's a big number and it's for FOOD and he is FAT, so HAHAHAHAHAHA let's all laugh at how Chris Christie definitely ate $300,000 worth of food himself because that's definitely what happened!

For the gazillionth time, I will note that there is so much to criticize about Chris Christie; anyone who is explicitly or implicitly making commentary on his weight is lazy and mean and an utterly ineffective political critic the end.

Dr. Ben Carson can't answer simple questions about his garbage tax plan. Whoooooooops that's because it's garbage!

Speaking of not being able to give good answers to questions: Professor of Bible Bigotry Mike Huckabee says you might as well not even bother asking him about stuff he's done that now looks pretty bad, like promoting a dietary supplement whose makers claim cures diabetes: "I don't have to defend everything that I've ever done." Haha solid answer!

Senator Rand Paul is still definitely a human person running for the US presidency.

Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush continues to say really terrific and smart things about US foreign policy, like how he totes would have supported the Iraq War. Let's put this very intelligent and very decent man in the White House STAT!

Florida Senator Marco Rubio has penned an op-ed for USA Today about how we need vast surveillance programs blah blah 9/11 blah blah terrorism blah blah fart.

The parodies of the Republican Clown Car have begun, with SNL's cold open this weekend poking fun at the nightmare that is the Southern Republican Leadership Convention. If you're not familiar with the SRLC, it's basically a parade of clowns pretending to be cool and also convincing conservatives that they are the MOST TERRIBLE.

Headline of the Day: "Clinton Campaign's Dilemma: What to Do with Bill?" Send him to summer camp!

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.

Shakesville is run as a safe space. First-time commenters: Please read Shakesville's Commenting Policy and Feminism 101 Section before commenting. We also do lots of in-thread moderation, so we ask that everyone read the entirety of any thread before commenting, to ensure compliance with any in-thread moderation. Thank you.

blog comments powered by Disqus