Something Something George Clooney Something Engaged Something Something Fart

[Content Note: Misogyny; misogynistic tropes.]

I have read not a single article about actor George Clooney's engagement to human rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin, because I don't care.

But these are the things I know, just from seeing headlines of articles about Clooney's and Alamuddin's engagement in my regular news reading:

1. Alamuddin is smart and educated, unlike those other bimbos Clooney's dated.

2. Alamuddin has her own career, unlike those other gold-diggers Clooney's dated.

3. Alamuddin managed to "lock him down" by playing hard to get, unlike those other sluts Clooney's dated.

4. Alamuddin, we should not be surprised to find, is the woman to finally bring an end to Clooney's long-term bachelorhood and take him "off the market," because she is awesome, unlike those other duds Clooney's dated, and Clooney obviously cannot settle for anything less than the most amazing woman on the planet because he is George fucking Clooney.

It's kind of amazing how being an attractive person in the entertainment industry is what makes Clooney the most eligible bachelor in the multiverse, and simultaneously made all of the women he dated previously, most or all of whom were attractive people in the entertainment industry, unsuitable to deserve being his wife.

It's kind of amazing that virtually everyone feels free to presume that all of the women he's previously dated wanted to be his wife.

It's kind of amazing how virtually everyone is apparently incapable of observing that Amal Alamuddin is an accomplished, smart, and interesting woman without demeaning other women, whose only connection to any of this is that they dated the man to whom she's now engaged, once upon a time.

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