Fuck the news, here's your Saturnalia gift guide instead:
Remote controlled flying zombie shark! Remote controlled flying zombie shark!
A Rule Is to Break: A Child's Guide to Anarchy. I'm getting this for all my friends with kids!
From the Warner Archives: Korg: 70,000 B.C.: The Complete Series.
Modernist Cuisine at Home by Nathan Myhrvold, because I have shit to cook!
The coolest book this year. Maybe this decade. Building Stories by Chris Ware.
Parklive: Deluxe 5 Disc Book Set. Because Britpop Rules.
A real human skeleton with a full compliment of teeth. Because, why not?
Candwich: The official Sandwich in a Can. Official? Okay.
Steaks. From Omaha.
Uranium 238. For all your Uranium 238 needs. Obviously.
Lightweight vinyl Inflatable Cthulhu Beard. Spring is just around the corner!
Glenn Beck brand jeans! (For men only.) Or.
A glow in the dark dildo? A glow in the dark dildo.
The Tin Drum director's cut DVD. 163 minutes. 163 minutes!
You want a lifesize Paul Ryan standee, don't you? I do!
Song Reader, the new album from Beck. Available only in sheet music format.
I want to meet the person who invented this. The person who decided the world needed this product. Let me shake your hand, sir!