The BIG NEWS, of course, is that Rick Santorum has dropped out of the Republican primary yesterday, to spend more quality time with his bigotry. We're all very sad, I'm sure.
This GAME CHANGER (not a game changer) leaves the field WIDE OPEN for any Mitt Romney to win! Which Mitt Romney will win the coveted position atop the Losing to Barack Obama ticket?! ONLY TIME WILL REVEAL ALL MITT ROMNEYS!
Hey, speaking of Mitt Romney, that dude got a TERRIFIC endorsement yesterday from NOM, which sounds like the tasty love-chewing on an adorable kitten's ear, but is in fact the National Organization for Marriage, which sounds like a marriage equality advocacy group, but is in fact an Orwellian-named hate group that advocates perpetuating the second-class citizenship of LGB USians. Those fuckers love Mitt Romney so much! Which is no surprise, since Mitt Romney also enthusiastically endorses systemic homophobia.
Oh! Speaking of how Mitt Romney is a social justice nightmare, he once again engaged his can't-fail campaign strategy of "No YOU are!" in order to accuse President Obama of waging a war on women: "The real war on women has been the job losses as the result of the Obama economy."
Ha ha listen, Mitt Romney, I am not exactly what one might call a friend to the president on this issue, since I've noticed, for example, that bailouts and stimuli have been directed almost exclusively at male-dominated industries. But that is about failing to include women-centered solutions IN THE RECOVERY from the economic clusterfucktastrophe caused by REPUBLICAN PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH and the REPUBLICAN CONGRESS.
But while I would like to spend all day talking about what a LIAR you are, I must move on now because OH NO YOU DIDN'T: "If we're going to get women back to work and help women with the real issues women care about—good jobs, good wages, a bright future for themselves, their families, and their kids—we're going to have to elect a president who understands how the economy works, and I do."
OH HELL NO. Mitt Romney, you do not get to talk about "the real issues women care about," when you can't even include REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS on your garbage list the sole purpose of which is to mask how you are hostile to a MAJOR ISSUE THAT WOMEN CARE ABOUT. Gross!
Romney's campaign is also not sure if equal pay for equal work is important to women. Or to Mitt Romney. Yikes.
In other news, Newt Gingrich's $500 check to the state of Utah for their primary filing fee bounced. Whooooooooooops! Time to wrap it up, Gingrich. Good night.
Something something Ron Paul. Who cares.
Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.