Primarily Horrendo

image of a program with the front cover featuring a photo of Abraham Lincoln and the back cover featuring a photo of Mitt Romney

GOOD MORNING! (Or whatever!) That image is also not a Photoshop: It's just a straight-up image of a program for the Franklin County Lincoln Day Dinner in Greencastle, Pennsylvania, which has images of its namesake Abraham Lincoln on the cover and its featured speaker Mitt Romney on the back. PERFECT. Forget all that bookends crap—the real heir to Honest Abe is Lying-Ass Mitt.

True Fact: If Mitt Romney grew a beard and made a stovepipe hat his signature fashion item, he would definitely lose this election even harder.

Speaking of Mitt Romney losing—

image of Mitt Romney and John McCain standing together at a campaign event, laughing; McCain is holding a microphone; I have added text reading: 'Ladies and gentlemen, the future vice president of the Losing to Barack Obama Club, Mitt Romney!'

—the AP reports that President Barack Obama is doing well in the swing states: "The improving economy is swinging the pendulum in [Obama's] favor in the 14 states where the presidential election will likely be decided. Recent polls have shown Obama gaining an edge over his likely Republican challenger, Mitt Romney, in several so-called swing states—those that are considered up for grabs."

Also: Obama continues to lead by a wide margin in their favorability ratings, despite the fact that Mitt Romney gets more than twice as much positive coverage as President Obama. Whooooooops no one likes you, Mitt Romney!

Eliza Dushku USED to like you, but she don't no more! And you know what they say: As goes Dushku, so goes America!

In veep news, my garbage governor, Mitch Daniels, really doesn't want to be Mitt's running mate lulz: If asked to join the ticket, "I think I would demand reconsideration and send Mr. Romney a list of people I think could suit better." (Actual quote.)

Naturally, my top secret inside sources managed to get me a copy of Mitch Daniels' notebook, so we could see who's on his list:

image of a notebook page with handwritten text reading: 'Mitt's Potential Running Mates: Tim Pawlenty / Rob Portman / Paul Ryan / Marco Rubio / Sick Rantorum (j/k ha ha) / A lady (not Palin) / Your mom / Your butt / Anyone but me / No one who wants to run in 2016. Or ever again.'

Speaking of Senator Rob Portman, that's who Mitt Romney should select as his running mate if he wants to win Ohio, according to "an informal survey of more than half of the Republican State Chairmen and national committee people at this weekend's State Chairman meeting at a resort" in Scottsdale, Arizona.

"From those assholes' mouths to Mitt Romney's ears!"—Rob Portman.

And finally! Jon Huntsman (remember him?!) says that his party is garbage. (I'm paraphrasing, but not by much.) Yeah, Huntsman. We are aware.

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.

Shakesville is run as a safe space. First-time commenters: Please read Shakesville's Commenting Policy and Feminism 101 Section before commenting. We also do lots of in-thread moderation, so we ask that everyone read the entirety of any thread before commenting, to ensure compliance with any in-thread moderation. Thank you.

blog comments powered by Disqus