Top Chef: Texas Open Thread

Robocop and Pee-wee visit Top Chef

Guest judge Jimmy (A Unicorn) is no fan of crinkle-cut fries.

I thought this was the finale. It wasn't. But! It is months later and now they are someplace with snow because that is very un-Texas. I bet this is Vermont. They may have said where they were but I was only half (maybe even a third) paying attention. There were way too many absurd challenges. I did catch that much. Like what is the point of cooking in a ski lift making occasional stops to pick up surprise ingredients from the same little canisters I store my cat food in?

Then there was some über-weird shooting competition. Whut?! Tru-fact*: The Biathlon was introduced at the 1936 Olympics when Germany basically just wanted to scare the shit out of everyone. "Hey, look at what we can do! We can shoot while skiing!" Good job, German Olympians, you made Leni Riefenstahl proud. So the cheftestants shot rifles to win oregano. Or something. Oof.

Hey, Top Chef, you know what would be a good way to determine if someone is a really top chef? Put them in a kitchen with a fully-stocked pantry for a few hours and see what they can come up with. Best meal wins! Or not. Or just give them ice picks and see who can dig a pork loin out of a block of ice the fastest. That's just as valid.

* This may no be true. I'm not Dr. History, you know.

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