This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

Alec Baldwin, Professor of Ethics at Calling Your Daughter a Pig University, explains that Anthony Weiner is just a modern human being, in the thoughtfully titled "Anthony Weiner Is a Modern Human Being."

Executive Summary: Kids today. So many gadgets! Gleep glorp. We had to walk uphill both ways to get laid. Men need to feel wanted sexually to take the edge off, no doy it's science. Time is money and porn isn't good enough. Wives don't put out on demand, so whaddaya expect? Weiner's crime was forgetting that women are lying whores who won't always keep it confidential when you publicly tweet pictures of your dong to them. Weiner is a busy, modern, high functioning man with needs. Hey, we all make mistakes, so shut up.

Well said, Mr. Baldwin.

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