This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

"Should Christians spend a fortune on weddings?" Or, as it was promoted on CNN's front page: "Would Jesus spend fortune on nuptials?"

I just love everything about this article, but my absolute favorite is the concluding line after something like 9,000 paragraphs of torturous rationalizations and apologia about extravagant spending on a wedding: "Nonetheless, on a special occasion, Jesus might be down with a lobster profiterole."

LOL. Sure.

Listen, I don't have any interest in telling religious people how to do religion, but I have actually read the New Testament, and Jesus is pretty much a broken record on the whole poverty thing. I can dig that a big, lavish wedding can be fun—especially for people of the same sex long denied participation in the institution, for example. I'm not judging what people want; I'm just advising honesty about it. (Which, if I recall correctly, was another thing that old hippie JC was always harping about.)

If you want something indulgent, go ahead and want it. I don't give a shit. I find a relatively minor ethical inconsistency a lot less contemptible than publicly contorting yourself into philosophical pretzels to justify your participation "as a bride" (as if that is separate from your humanity) in a spectacle that is wholly unnecessary to commit to love and partnership.

Anyway, what do I know. My atheist self and my atheist husband got hitched at the courthouse with one witness and went out for burgers afterward.

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