Eating Vegetables Will Turn You Into a Limp-Wristed Nancy Boy

Unless you give it a MANLY new name, of course.

Thus, "Heganism." That's right, they're not vegans, they're HEGANS. Seriously, how insecure do you have to be? I love how the existence of male vegans is somehow this weird new phenomenon, too.

Coincidentally, I was just thinking earlier today about how fucking stupid the word "Manscaping" is. Like, if you just said "I shaved my balls," you'd somehow forget that you're a dude.

As Melissa said to me earlier when I sent her this article, calling yourself a vegan won't give you a "vegina," doodz.
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