Texting! With Liss and Deeky!

Liss: Why the fuck do I have 8,000 channels but the best thing on is Goonies?

Deeks: You love Goonies.

Liss: I love One-Eyed Willie.

Deeks: LOL! Hey, you know what? There is a bar in town called the Backdoor Lounge that is somehow NOT a gay bar.

Liss: LOL!

Deeks: Also, I just finished reading "The Mystery of the Flying Skeleton" which featured exactly zero flying skeletons. What is this world coming to?

Liss: The mystery was obviously "Where the fuck was the flying skeleton?"

Deeks: The Mystery of the Missing Mystery.

Liss: The Mysterious Mystery of the Mysteriously Missing Mystery.

Deeks: LOL!

Liss: I just saw a Vaseline commercial. Do they really still need to advertise? "Vaseline: For all your dry feet and buttfucking needs."

Deeky: LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! "But mostly for dry feet. Because choosy fags choose KY."

Liss: They should hire us.


Deeks: Now I'm watching Goonies. Is Corey wearing a Members Only jacket AND parachute pants?

Liss: Uh huh, lol. And btw his name is Mouth, okay? Sheesh!

Deeks: LOL. And now they just knocked the dick off the statue. LOL! I don't remember any of this. "Heroin"? "Torture devices"? This is a kids movie?

Liss: The 80s were totally the best time to be a kid. No one gave the slightest shit what we were looking at, lol.

Deeks: God bless the Reagan years.

Liss: Totes. Our parents were all, "Who gives a shit what they're watching. It won't matter when we all die in a nuclear holocaust."

Deeks: LOLOLOL!! Totes. Whatever happened to Martha Plimpton?

Liss: She's been a stage actress for about a decade.

Deeks: That's good. I always liked her.

Liss: Me too. I saw her in a play in Chicago a few years ago.

Deeks: Very cool.


Deeks: I can't believe I sat through all of The Goonies just now. Now Princess Bride is on. Wesley is wrestling a giant nutria.

Liss: LOL! We're watching that, too. Honest to Maude, nothing worth watching has been made since 1997, except Lost.

Deeks: Just you wait for Ghostbusters 3.

Liss: I ain't fraida no ghosts.

Deeks: Are too! Scared ass!

Liss: Wevs. I totes fucked Slimer like 6 times.

Deeks: LOL! Did you use Vaseline?

Liss: Are you stupid or something? He's like a blob of ectoplasmic lube.

Deeks: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! "Are you stupid or something?"

Liss: LOL! "What are you—hard of thinking?"

Deeks: LOL! Off to bed. Nite nite!

Liss: Me too! We're so pyrotechnic. Nite!

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