Assvertising: McSTFU edition

So the other day I was driving home from my local coffee place feeding my current favorite addiction (medium double chocolate mocha w/peppermint and whip, please!) when a commercial came on the radio.

It was a commercial for coffee. McDonald's coffee. Specifically, their new(ish) line of cappuccinos. The woman's voice came on and said something to the effect of her love of "fancy" coffee drinks had led her to go to coffee shops where she discussed "avant-garde theater" and "Baroque chamber music". But now that McDonald's is serving their special coffee drinks, she can go back to reading gossip magazines and watching reality TV shows. I mean, my god, avant-garde theatre and Baroque chamber music. The horrors! Not to ignore the men, there is also a radio spot that I had the misfortune of hearing where the guy voicing it talks about how love of cappuccino made him start enjoying indie bands, French cinema, and NOT BATHING. Yes, not fucking bathing. Because all guys who like indie bands and French cinema are dirty fucking freaks. But thanks to McDonald's, he can be a real (clean!) man and go watch football again. Yes, really, they pull out the football line in that commercial.

So we see where these are going, right? Because the television spots aren't any better. In fact, they're only more time for this anti-intellectual, stereotypical horseshit:

Man 1: Oh, did you hear McDonald's has cappuccinos now?

Man 2: McDonald's?

Man 1: Yeah.

Man 2: (closes book) Well.....that's AWESOME!

Man 1: (enthusiastically) Yeah! (starts pulling off sweater)

Man 2: I can shave my face!

Man 1: And we don't have to call movies (airquotes) films anymore!

Man 2: We can talk about football!

Man 1: I like football. (defiant) I like sitting and watching football.

Man 2: (takes off glasses) I don't need these glasses--these are fake.

Man 1: I do need mine. They're very real.

[bullshit about the drinks]
Again with the fucking football. And sweaters and glasses! ZOMG! You'd almost think they were eating yogurt too.

This one they named "Intellectuals":

(this was the only embedded one I could find)
Woman 1: You know I heard McDonalds is making lattes now.

Woman 2: McDonalds? Well that's just...fantastic!

Woman 1: Isn't it?! Now we don't have to listen to jazz all day long!

Woman 2: I can start wearing heels again.

Woman 1: Read gossip magazines! (tosses book away)

Woman 2: Watch reality TV shows...

Woman 1: I like television!

Woman 2: I can't really speak French.

Woman 1: I don't know where Paraguay is!

Woman 2: Paraguay?

[bullshit about the drinks]

Woman1: I just want to show my knees, you know?!
Because we all know women really don't like to read (gasp!) books, learn/speak other languages, have world-related knowledge, or not wear mini-skirts, right? No, no. It's all "attitude", as the ad calls it, and it's all fake. That silly intellectualism! Not for real women!

Conversely, what?, smart women (--and are you really wanting to call the people you want to buy your shit not smart?) don't like to wear clothes that show off their knees, watch American Idol, or read trashy mags sometimes? lol your stereotypes, assface.

This--everything about this ad campaign--is every kind of FAIL out there. Well done on how much retrofuck bullshit contempt for women, men, and intelligence in-general you could fit in those 30 second commercials, McDonald's. Really.

[Assvertising: Parts One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Twenty-One, Twenty-Two, Twenty-Three, Twenty-Four, Twenty-Five, Twenty-Six, Twenty-Seven, Twenty-Eight, Twenty-Nine, Thirty, Thirty-One, Thirty-Two, Thirty-Three, Thirty-Four, Thirty-Five, Thirty-Six, Thirty-Seven, Thirty-Eight, Thirty-Nine, Forty, Forty-One.]

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