When the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings—sexually, personally—to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he's very susceptible to the charm of some other woman. […]First of all, any man who needs to be made to feel like a "hero" by his spouse has serious insecurity issues, requiring increasing levels of attention and devotion that cannot possibly be sustained (especially if the hero and the mere mortal to whom he is wed decide to have children). That's a recipe for failure right out of the box.
The cheating was his decision to repair what's damaged and to feed himself where he's starving. But yes, I hold women accountable for tossing out perfectly good men by not treating them with the love and kindness and respect and attention they need.
Secondly, it's absolutely true that if someone's (reasonable) needs aren't being met by a spouse, then something will eventually and inexorably give. But that doesn't justify cheating; it justifies ending the relationship. That's true whether it's husband or wife (or both) failing to deliver; it's not a one-way street.
But most importantly, this idea that spouses cheat solely or mostly because they are lacking "love and kindness and respect and attention" at home is antiquated horseshit. Yeah, some spouses cheat for that reason. And plenty of others—especially men in positions like Spitzer's—cheat because it's exciting and fun and because they are self-indulgent narcissists who are stupid enough to believe they'll never get caught. Many people who cheat have spouses who dote on them like they're the very sunshine; sometimes the problem is not a lack of love, but the cheat's utter failure to appreciate being loved.
I've no doubt Dr. Laura is in possession of the capacity to wrap her mind around these simple concepts, but I guess it's not as thrilling as being a woman-hating victim-blamer.
[Thanks to Shaker Joe, who says, "I guess Gov. Spitzer being responsible for Gov. Spitzer would be too easy," for passing that along.]