This One’s for You, Maurinsky

Redheads have more sex.

Blondes may have more fun but redheads have more sex, according to new research in Germany.

The study by Hamburg Sex Researcher Professor Dr Werner Habermehl looked at the sex lives of hundreds of German women and compared them with their hair colour.

He said: "The sex lives of women with red hair were clearly more active than those with other hair colour, with more partners and having sex more often than the average. The research shows that the fiery redhead certainly lives up to her reputation."
No word on male redheads, although I remember Mr. Shakes grousing not so long ago about some article out of Britain that said redheaded men are the least laid.

“Everyoone thinks blookes tarred with the ginger gene are oogly,” he moaned.

“No, they don’t,” I assured him.

“Ooh, really?” He gave me The Eyebrow. “Then why aren’t there any redheaded male sex symbools?”

“Robert Redford,” I said.

“He’s bloond,” Mr. Shakes countered.

“Strawberry blond,” I replied.


“Boris Becker,” I suggested.

“Booris Becker is a wanker,” Mr. Shakes complained.

“David Caruso.”

“He really is an oogly bastard.”

My suggestions of Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Conan O’Brien, and Eric Stoltz were also summarily dismissed.

“What about Carrot Top?” I said, trying not to laugh. “He’s a hottie.”

“Fooking boollshit,” muttered Mr. Shakes. “The cloosest we ginger-haired blookes have goot is Roonald bloody McDoonald.”

“Sixty gazillion served!” I enthused.

“Get stooffed,” he told me.

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