Quote of the Day

Christopher Hitchens, on how American dentistry’s superiority to its British counterpart supports his theory that fellatio is America’s signature sex act:

As one who was stretched on the grim rack of British “National Health” practice, with its gray-and-yellow fangs, its steely-wire “braces,” its dark and crumbly fillings, and its shriveled and bleeding gums, I can remember barely daring to smile when I first set foot in the New World. Whereas when any sweet American girl smiled at me, I was at once bewitched and slain by the warm, moist cave of her mouth, lined with faultless white teeth and immaculate pink gums and organized around a tenderly coiled yet innocent tongue.

“I was at once bewitched and slain” gets my vote for the best euphemism for “I totally wanted to shove my cock in her mouth.”

Says Amanda, who’s got an excellent post on the article from whence this quote came, “And there you have it, the secret to American global superiority—we have the wherewithal to make sure our young women have straight, white teeth so that they are more attractive cock-suckers. We should add a verse to the national anthem celebrating this or something.”

Btw, Mr. Shakes, who also spent his life “stretched on the grim rack” of British dentistry, has beautiful teeth. As does my Londoner Andy. Luckily, neither of them has ever had the misfortune of meeting Christopher Hitchens.