“If a woman in India marries a snake, gay people in America should have to justify it.”

Great clip from The Colbert Report in which He For Whom the Report Is Named responds to Wall Street Journal editorial page editor Dan Henninger’s contention that a woman marrying a snake in India proves that legalizing gay marriage in the US may lead to all sorts of crazy shit!

For those who can’t view the video, Henninger says, “I would like to ask the proponents of gay marriage, which, after all, violates traditions going back through all of human history, to now absolutely, positively guarantee that the next movement is not going to be allowing people to marry their pet horse, dog, or cat.”

As a proponent of gay marriage, I’m happy to respond. First, let me address the assertion that same-sex marriage “violates traditions going back through all of human history.” That’s, um, not true. Being a cultural anthropologist whose focus is the marginalization of gender-based political groups, I’m well-versed in the history of same-sex marriage through the ages, but let’s not trust my zany progressive ass. Let’s go to those wanton purveyors of the radical homosexual agenda, Oxford University Press bloggers William N. Eskridge, Jr. and Darren R. Spedale.

As one of us demonstrated ten years ago, many cultures in the world have recognized same-sex relationships as unions or marriages. (Eskridge, The Case for Same-Sex Marriage chapter 2 [Free Press, 1996].) These include ancient Greece and Rome, dozens of African cultures (what anthropologists call “female husbands”), and Native American cultures. Same-sex marriages involving “berdaches” (men or women with cross-gender identification) were common in dozens of tribes.

As our new book documents, in detail, modern societies are also recognizing same-sex unions. Denmark (1989) was the first, in its registered partnership law. Dozens of other countries and provinces have followed Denmark, with laws providing same-sex couples with most or all of the legal benefits and duties of marriage.

…The Netherlands (2001) is the first modern nation to recognize same-sex unions as “marriages.” Similar same-sex marriage laws have been adopted in Belgium (2002), Canada (2004), and Spain (2005). South Africa’s Constitutional Court has directed that country to follow in the next year.
And, of course, Britain has done the same. In both ancient history and recent history, we see examples of old and new traditions of same-sex marriage, which I thought you might like cleared up for you, sir.

Now to the primary issue, where you request gay marriage proponents “to now absolutely, positively guarantee that the next movement is not going to be allowing people to marry their pet horse, dog, or cat.” Are you ready…?

I guarantee it. Absolutely and positively.

Happy now?

(Hat tip Pam.)

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