Ethan, I've activated the bomb in your head.

Ostensibly, Mission Impossible III is the story of Tom Cruise (they keep calling him “Ethan Hunt,” but I’m not buying) and how he struggles to reconcile his knack for action packed adventure with his love for his fiancée Julia (Michelle Monaghan), who is a doctor type person, and is very adorable and innocent and has no idea what Tom did- and occasionally still does- for a living. It’s an old idea but not automatically a terrible one; once it’s been established that an action hero can do just about anything, you have to find some other aspect of their lives to target so that the audience believes they are actually threatened, and a love interest who has no idea what’s going on, and who represents the hero’s hope for a better future, makes a great target.

But this is a Tom Cruise movie, and at this point, it’s hard not to watch him on screen without coming up with your own subtext. Something about how Tom is a top level member of a secret organization which is responsible for keeping the world safe, and in order for anyone to get truly close to him, they have to accept this and even, in some small way, take part in that organization. An organization that you can’t ever get free from, no matter how hard you try; the only real exit is in a body bag.

Fortunately, Tom didn’t write the script, although I’m sure he had some say in what was used; so the end result, while it won’t blow anyone’s mind, and it certainly won’t change your attitude towards action thrillers, is a moderately intelligent screenplay that manages to keep its minor secrets safe as long as needed. This is director J.J. Abrams (creator of “Alias” and “Lost”) first time on the big screen, and he does a fine job, and the cast, for the most part, are great fun. Not surprisingly, Hoffman makes a terrific villain, convincingly threatening without ever resorting to campy theatrics. His few scenes are probably the best in the film, especially the opening, and I found myself wishing he had more screen time than the ostensible hero.

And that’s your biggest problem right there. Even if you can manage to get past his off-screen mania (and that’s not the easiest thing to do), the fact remains that Tom Cruise is less an actor than a persona, and that persona is getting more tired with each passing year. As a performer, he’s like a con-man whose cons succeed not because he’s particularly convincing, but because the glimpses of vulnerability we see behind his grins are enough to convince us to buy in; unfortunately, those glimpses are getting more and more obviously staged, and that vulnerability is turning out to be less like honesty and more like a desperate attempt to placate an audience he is increasingly unable to connect with.

He’s not utterly wretched, but… Well, at two points in the film, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Michelle Monaghan take center stage, and both times, the actors are so much more interesting and likeable than Cruise is that it’s almost like you’re watching a whole different movie. (Hoffman actually manages to make a better Cruise than Cruise.) At this point in his career, the man is simply a name that sells tickets; and if he doesn’t change his act soon, even that won’t be true for much longer.

See it if you like action thrillers, and if you can stomach His Heterosexualness. Those who can’t, just rent The Bourne Identity again.

P.S. I gotta mention- Maggie Q is in this, and the dress she wears to the Vatican? More than made up for the cost of the movie ticket. (Plus, she’s really, really cool.)