Not Tom Cruise, or even Katie Holmes, but their merged, two-headed demonic being known as “TomKat,” from whence will soon spring its satanic, I mean Scientologic, spawn.
The Scoop reports, however, that the wedding may be off. (“Yeah right,” sniffs my favorite dish bitch, Michael K, “over Tom Cruise's dead alien body!”) Eh, what does L. Tom Hubbard care? He’s got his extraterrestrial heir and even his insane-a-thon on Oprah’s chatfest couldn’t unseat him as Hollywood’s top money-maker (for the seventh time). He and his evil turkey-basted legatee will soon rule the world, whether Joey Potter’s along for the ride or not.
