“If You Like Me, Check This Box!”


"You are the best governor ever - deserving of great respect!" [Miers] wrote in 1997, in a belated birthday note that was typical of the tone she used in her correspondence with then-Gov. Bush.


Bush responded to her birthday wish in kind, and included a humorous, if baffling, postscript.

"I appreciate your friendship and candor. Never hold back your sage advice," he wrote. "P.S. No more public scatology." Whether Bush was referring to Miers' rough-and-tumble time as chairwoman of the Texas Lottery Commission or something else isn't clear. Scatology refers to "the study of or preoccupation with excrement or obscenity," according to Webster's dictionary.


Indeed, Miers oozes with deference and awe in her letters to Bush. In a 1995 note, she thanked Bush for a visit and called a ride in a plane with him "Cool!" When she wrote Bush a thank-you note for meeting with a lottery job applicant in 1997, she wrote, "You are the best!"
The best brush-clearin’ govner with scat for brains.

I’ve always thought that the particular brand of cronyism practiced by the Bush administration (you know—the kind where the big dog’s buddies are put in charge of FEMA, rather than just given the ambassadorship to Luxembourg, which is a sort of harmless kind of cronyism that all big dogs play) is a lot like middle school—stranded between childhood friendships and the beginnings of adult friendships. It’s a time where one starts to understand loyalty, but a kind of adolescent version of it, where the girl who always says you look good is deemed more loyal than the one who will tell you honestly if you look ridiculous, and the boy who’s always up for a game of touch football is the better friend than the one who’s willing to stay in and help you study for the big science test. It’s a time when “I didn’t do it!” is a common refrain, when you can sell your friend down the river to save your own ass (or be sold by a friend), but be Best Friends Forever again the next day. It’s a time before many kids fully understand what the difference is between a fun friend and a good friend; it’s usually only by sheer luck you can find someone who’s both at that age.

The Bush administration seems stuck in middle school—a group of kids who aren’t well-liked, but have parents with clout, so they can get away with a lot of shit. They’re popular only because they are bullies, and the younger kids look up to them for fear of doing anything less. They make fun of the smart kids, and don’t pay much attention in class.

The teachers might think they’re taking notes, but they’re really just writing notes to pass each other in the hallway between classes.

“Mr. Johnson sucks!”

“I can’t wait to get out of here!”

“If you like me, check this box!”

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