I have no idea how this made it into USA Today, but it is totally fucking hilarious!!!


Repeat offender

President Bush uses some phrases over and over:

What he says: "I appreciate that question."
When he says it: Several times in every news conference, usually immediately after a complex or tricky question.
Why he says it: This means he needs a second to collect his thoughts.

What he says: "Thank you for giving me a chance to come by and say hello."
When he says it: At the beginning or end of a news conference.
Why he says it: He's signaling that, although this is part of his job, it isn't his favorite part.

What he says: "We're making progress."
When he says it: When he's pressed on difficult issues, such as overhauling Social Security or ending North Korea's nuclear program.
Why he says it: He's saying that he's working on it.

What he says: "I look forward to working with (Congress, Democrats, Russians, Iraq's government, etc.)."
When he says it: In response to questions about the lack of progress on changes to Social Security, withdrawal of troops from Iraq, immigration laws, nuclear proliferation.
Why he says it: Bush is suggesting that others aren't playing ball yet, but he'll get what he wants eventually.


That's all folks

To connect with viewers, he tries folksy remarks:

"In this job, you've got a lot on your plate. ... You don't have much time to sit around and wander, lonely, in the Oval Office, kind of asking different portraits, 'How do you think my standing (in history) will be?' "

"I readily concede I'm out of my lane (discussing complex Medicare issues). I'm not pretending to be an actuary."

"The Crawford Pirates are the (Texas) state 2A, Division II champs, and we look forward, don't we, to wave the championship banner above the Crawford High School."

"The Oval Office is the kind of place where people ... walk in and get overwhelmed in the atmosphere, and they say, 'Man, you're looking pretty.' "


Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! The thing is, that Ari Fleisher is credited with offering insights to put this thing together. It must be payback for the soul-wrenching guilt he feels after being compelled to exist as a professional liar for years. Either that, or he’s still an asskisser, but thought this would somehow come out as a positive thing for the pres. Seriously—I was dying laughing. It’s like it’s kinda straightforward, but it’s also totally snarky. It’s also accompanied by this image of Bush that is captioned as stated:

Viewers should watch President Bush during
news conferences as well as listening to him.

Maybe I’m nuts (or optimistic), but this whole thing just came across as a not very subtle attempt to say, “Wake up America—you’re being governed by an idiot!”

Shakesville is run as a safe space. First-time commenters: Please read Shakesville's Commenting Policy and Feminism 101 Section before commenting. We also do lots of in-thread moderation, so we ask that everyone read the entirety of any thread before commenting, to ensure compliance with any in-thread moderation. Thank you.

blog comments powered by Disqus