Welcome to Hell!

[Content Note: Rape culture. Videos may autoplay at first two links.]

For many seasons now, basically the only reason to watch Saturday Night Live anymore is the female cast members — and specifically the digital shorts they are making. Classics like Dyke & Fats and (Do It on My) Twin Bed.

This weekend proved no different, as the ladies of SNL gave us a brilliant commentary on men's awakening to women's realities in the rape culture: "Welcome to Hell."

Video Description: A parody of a bubble-gum pop girl group video, with the women dressed in cartoony pastel clothing and performing on a pastel set decorated with images like lollipops and ice cream cones and iridescent clouds. Some of the lyrics are sung (which will be in italics) and some of the lyrics are spoken (which will be left unitalicized).

Cecily Strong: Hey there, boys. [giggle] We know the last couple months have been frickin' insane.

Aidy Bryant: All these big, cool, powerful guys are turning out to be — what's the word? Habitual predators?

Kate McKinnon: Cat's outta the bag! Women get harassed all the time.

Bryant: And it's like: Dang — is this the world now?

Guest Host Saoirse Ronan: But here's a little secret that every girl knows...

McKinnon: [puts finger to lips] Shhhhhh.

Strong: Oh this been the damn world.

Group: It's freaky / It's narsty / It's button-under-the-desk bad / But this is our hometown / We'll show you around / Welcome to Hell / Now we're all in here / Look around / Isn't it nice? / It's a full nightmare / Ain't it so coo-coo? / Playin' this guess-who / Yeah, it's a lot / But it's what we got / Welcome to Hell! / Hey!

Bryant: Oh, and this ain't a girl group. We just travel in a pack for safety.

McKinnon: [holding up her car keys in a fist with keys poking out from between her knuckles] This is how I walk home at night. Rowr.

Ronan: My dad gave me a pink gun, so, there's a lot there.

Strong: My little trick? If someone's following me, I put my arm up like this [wraps one arm half-around her head] and I go [starts spinning wildly] AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 'Cuz then he'll be like: "She's not worth the trouble."

Group: Welcome to Hell / Now you're in our boat / Look at that guy / What is he up to in that trenchcoat? / It's like a maze here / All full of boners / Hey what was that? / Phew, just a cat / Wait, who owns the cat? / It could be a trap / Welcome to Hell! / Hey!

image of Aidy Bryant holding up a bunny, with the word HELL onscreen

McKinnon: I guess it b-b-begs the question: Whoa! Why didn't you say something, baby girl?

Ronan: Well, dang, Double-Daddy! We definitely did! For hundreds of years.

Melissa Villaseñor: [dressed as puritan woman lashed to tree being burned in a fire] Oh man!

Bryant: But I guess no one, like, cared. [licks lollipop]

Ronan: Because it kept happening. Again...

Villaseñor: [dressed as Suffragette holding sign reading "Votes for Women"] Whaaaaat?

Ronan: ...and again...

Villaseñor: [dressed as Rosie the Riveter] Really?!

Ronan: ...and again! [giggles]

Villaseñor: [dressed as '60s secretary] Oh come on!

Leslie Jones: Hey, uh, just wanted to say: I think what you guys are doing is really cool; I get it. Um, but you do know that it's like a million times worse for a woman of color, right?

Group: [answers affirmatively and thanks Jones for saying that]

Jones: Well, let's get back into this!

Ronan: Now House of Cards is ruined — and that really sucks! Well, here's a list of stuff that's ruined for us!

Group: Parking and walking and Uber and ponytails / Bathrobes and nighttime and drinking and hotels and vans!

Villaseñor: Nothing good happens in a van!

Group: Welcome to Hell!

Villaseñor: Welcome to Hell!

Group: This isn't news.

Villaseñor: [as Puritan] No no no not news!

Group: Our situation's been a deuce since we got boobs.

Villaseñor: [as Suffragette] I got two boobs!

Group: That's why your mom was...

Villaseñor: [as Rosie] A maid!

Group: ...always so tired.

Villaseñor: [as secretary] Always so tired!

Group: Grab all your friends / Mace in our hands / Welcome to Hell! / Yeah, it ain't fair / But pull up a chair / Welcome to Hell! / Hey!

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