Discussion Thread: Holiday Dread

[Content Note for Christian Supremacy, privilege, and various dysfunctional family dynamics and abuse, covering the entirety of the thread.]

image of kyriarchetypical white family at Christmas
Does your family look like this? Mine, neither.

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Except for when it's not. And if you aren't happily preparing to celebrate the most perfect Christmas with your perfect family, it can feel pretty lonely—mostly because there aren't a whole lot of places where it's acceptable to talk about your holiday anxiety, or sadness, or contempt, without disguising it as some kind of joke. There aren't a whole lot of places where it's okay to have a grown-up conversation about how genuinely hard the holidays can be.

So, here's a thread to do that. Whether you're facing time with a dysfunctional family of origin, facing time alone you'd prefer to be sharing with someone else, exhausted even contemplating the travel ahead, sad because you can't afford a gift you'd really like to get your kid, pissed off because you don't celebrate Christmas and OMFG enough with the Christmas shit, dreading the comments about your body, your ideology, your choice of partner, dreading your dad's sexist jokes or your mom's racist jokes, dreading seeing that uncle who should be in jail, dreading having your parenting skills audited, dreading coming out which you are totally doing this year, or just generally fed up with the holidays, go for it.

(If you are having urgent thoughts of self-harm, do not leave a comment; please contact emergency services immediately.)

And if you are undilutedly joyful about the holiday season, can't wait to see your family, and are walking on a cloud of sparking white snowflakes, enjoy the absolute fuck out of it. That's not snark; I mean it. That is a rare and precious gift, worth lingering moments of conscious appreciation.

As always, please don't offer advice, unless it is explicitly solicited. Sometimes people just need to grouse, and need solidarity rather than the offer of solutions they may well have already tried.

[Image via.]

Shakesville is run as a safe space. First-time commenters: Please read Shakesville's Commenting Policy and Feminism 101 Section before commenting. We also do lots of in-thread moderation, so we ask that everyone read the entirety of any thread before commenting, to ensure compliance with any in-thread moderation. Thank you.

blog comments powered by Disqus