ELECTION UPDATE!!!

1. Hillary Clinton is SURROUNDED BY SCANDAL AND CONSPIRACY! Did you hear that her husband said yesterday that she has the flu?! BUSTED! This proves everything! ALL OF THE THINGS! Because she doesn't have the flu! She has pneumonia! And, sure, his spokesperson immediately said that he meant to say pneumonia, but WE KNOW THE TRUTH DON'T WE?! It's all a lie! Only a SINISTER MONSTER would claim to ACCIDENTALLY (yeah right!) have said "flu." It's not like half the country over 40 calls everything the flu or anything! Stomach upset? Flu. Bad cold? Flu. Pneumonia? Flu. Flu? Flu. OBVIOUSLY BILL HAS GIVEN AWAY THE CONSPIRACY WHATEVER IT IS.

2. Donald Trump had a physical from maybe a real doctor but who even knows, and apparently the results said he is fat, and that is literally the last fucking concern I have about Donald Trump. In fact, it is not a concern at all. I DO NOT CARE. What I care about is that he is a bigoted nightmare who says things like "With Iran, when they circle our beautiful destroyers with their little boats and they make gestures at our people that they shouldn't be allowed to make, they will be shot out of the water" which is A REAL THING DONALD TRUMP SAID AND I BET YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HEARD ABOUT IT BECAUSE HILLARY CLINTON HAS THE FLU PNEUMONIA AND FAILED TO ALERT THE PRESS!

3. Our national media is garbage.

4. Tim Kaine continues to be very delightful and also makes good and serious points about how Donald Trump is a terrible candidate. I hope he's never sent or received any emails or started a foundation that has saved millions of lives or coughed or sat on a stool or felt faint from a combination of heat and pneumonia or rested against a pillow or SUSPICIOUSLY wore his purse on a different shoulder than usual one day or change his hairstyle. Although it probably doesn't matter, because he's a dude.

5. Mike Pence continues to be the absolute fucking worst.

53 more days of this shit.

That about sums it up! Discuss.