Tara & Doctor Zoey
Everyone is back home at Aarontown and the weather is beautiful and everything is calm. We open with what I think are three different slightly variable universe openings, but only later realize are supposed to be three consecutive days that begin in very similar fashion, showing how boring and routine life is. It is very confusing.
Doctor Mulletsworth now has a ponytail. Rosita Espinosa is having an affair with Spencer, and she's not all that excited about it. Morgan is building a jail cell. Carol is smoking a lot and stroking her rosary.
There isn't even any murder going on, which is refreshing! Even better: There's almost zero Optimus Grimes in this episode and lots of Doctor Zoey! Yay!
I repeat: Merritt Wever is a national treasure. The end.
Speaking of Doctor Zoey, she wants to go to an apothecary she passed once upon a time, so she asks Daryl and Rosita Espinosa to accompany her. They tell her they'll just go and she should stay behind, and she's all NOPE I'M GOING WITH OR WITHOUT YOU, so they sigh and agree.
They hop in a truck, which Daryl drives badly, and drive until they come upon a fallen tree in the road. They get out and walk. Rosita Espinosa says walking the train tracks will be faster, but Daryl says he ain't taking no tracks, so he's taking the longer way via the road. Doctor Zoey goes with him; Rosita Espinosa takes the tracks alone.
Meanwhile, Sgt. Redbull and Doctor Mulletsworth are on their own adventure. They go to an industrial machine shop, where Doctor Mulletsworth says he thinks he can make bullets. A zombie gargles toward him, and he calls "dibs," and tries to kill it himself, because he's a tough guy now or whatever, but he struggles, so Sgt. Redbull steps in and does the job. Doctor Mulletsworth is pissed and demands that Sgt. Redbull apologize. When he won't, Doctor Mulletsworth tells him his "services are no longer required," and Sgt. Redbull storms out, telling him to find his own way home.
Back at the apothecary, Daryl and Rosita Espinosa rummage through the pharmacy, and Doctor Zoey wanders off to confront a trapped zombie and gets freaked out by the grossness. She goes outside and sits on the curb and cries. Daryl and Rosita Espinosa eventually come out and exchange a look about Doctor Zoey crying like a normal human being. They make shitty comments about how she wasn't ready, because that's helpful.
They take off for home, and Daryl, trying to be nice, suggests they take the railroad tracks. BUT EARLIER HE SAID HE AIN'T TAKING NO TRACKS, AND MEN ARE ALWAYS RIGHT, SO OHHHHHH NOOOOO.
They pass a bunch of abandoned cars, and Doctor Zoey sees a cooler in one of them. She says they should raid it to see if they find anything useful (MORE LIKE FIND SODA FOR HER GIRLFRIEND), and Daryl and Rosita Espinosa are all fuck that, and they keep walking. Doctor Zoey lags behind and opens the car door. A zombie springs out at her and they wrestle on the ground. Daryl and Rosita Espinosa run back, but Doctor Zoey orders them to let her handle it. Which she does, stabbing the zombie in the head before it can eat her face off.
She opens the cooler and finds a sixpack of soda. Daryl and Rosita Espinosa are all, "What the fuck?! You risked your life for a couple of sodas?!" And she's all, "Nope! Just this one!"
And then she turns to them and tells them they just don't get it, man. It's not just about the soda. She wanted to come out and confront the zombiepocalypse in order to face down her fears. And just as she starts telling them that they're awesome people who are stronger than they think and they need to wake up—
ZIP! An arrow goes right through her head and out her eye socket. And there goes the one reason I had to continue to want to watch this fucking show.
RIP Doctor Zoey.
(FUCKING FUCK THAT PIRATE CARL SURVIVED A GUNSHOT TO THE EYE BUT DOCTOR ZOEY CAN'T SURVIVE AN ARROW TO THE EYE!)
Naturally, it's that d-bag who stole Daryl's crossbow, and he's got Doctor Mulletsworth held captive on his knees, and they're surrounded. The d-bag tells Daryl that he was aiming for him, and Daryl tells him he should have killed him when he had the chance, and the d-bag is all, "Yep, you prolly shoulda!"
Doctor Mulletsworth spots Sgt. Redbull hiding behind some rusty cans, and tells the d-bad that Sgt. Redbull is an "a-hole" who deserves to die more than they do. He points out where he's hiding nearby, and, when the d-bag tells one of his minions to go investigate, Doctor Mulletsworth bites the d-bag straight in the dick.
No, I'm not joking.
All hell breaks loose, because of course Sgt. Redbull had already flanked around so he could shoot at the d-bag's group from behind. Blah blah shootout. Grimes Gang wins. Doctor Mulletsworth gets grazed by a bullet, but he's okay.
Later, back at Aarontown, Sgt. Redbull finally apologizes to Doctor Mulletsworth for questioning his survival skills. "You know how to bite a dick, Eugene," he tells him. "I mean that with the utmost respect."
Sgt. Redbull then goes over to Sasha's house, and she invites him in. What is the opposite of shipping two characters? I UNSHIP them.
In the final moments, Carol's boyfriend Tobin finds a note that Carol has left, because she can't kill anyone anymore, and she asks that no one comes after her. Tobin takes the note to Optimus Grimes.
I'm sure he'll definitely respect her request to leave her the hell alone.
Next week: More of this garbage.