Pet Songs

I'm not the only one who sings to my pets, right? Like, constantly. Made-up songs about how they are adorable, fuzzy, hungry, annoying, need to pee, just did a stinky turd, are yawning a lot, are giving me a particularly cute look, are in my seat. Whatever.

Lots of these songs are one-offs, and some of them stick.

One of the songs I sing to the dogs all the time is "Dudley Is Cuddly and Zelly Is Smelly." It's quite a composition. Watch out, Grammys!

Every time I sing it, however, I feel as though Zelda is looking at me like, "Two-Legs, I know that shit rhymes, but you damn well know that I am the source of 72% of dog snuggles in this house and that greyhound has a mouth that smells like a hot dumpster!"

And I feel a little guilty.

But then I look at Dudley and he's looking at me like, "SONG SONG SONGITY SONG!"


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