STAR WARS!!!!!!!

GENERAL LEIA.
(Where have I seen that expression before? Oh right.)
SPOILERS! SPOILY-OILY-OILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS IN THIS POST AND NO DOUBT IN COMMENTS! PROCEED WITH CAUTION! SPOOOOOOOOOOOILERS!

Have you seen Star Wars: The Force Awakens yet?! Did you love it?! I LOVED IT!!! Here is an incomplete list of the things I loved about it!

Rey. Finn. Rey and Finn. Finn and Rey. The moment when I was like OMFG A WOMAN AND A BLACK MAN ARE IN CONTROL OF THE MILLENNIUM FALCON AND THERE ISN'T A WHITE MAN IN SIGHT YES MAUDE YES.

"Stop taking my hand. I know how to run without you holding my hand." YESSSSS.

"That ship is garbage." Ahhhhhhhahahahahaha!

Adam Driver's performance was exquisite! He really channeled Young Anakin's tantruming, but managed to play it with so much pathos. Oh goddddd when his eyes are tearing and then the light falls out of the sky and his expression hardens... ADAM DRIVER WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING TO ME? A+

The scenes between Han and Leia were SO, SO GOOD! "We both turned to what we knew." Damn.

When the big thing happened that I won't even put into writing lest someone scrolling by who wants to avoid spoilers accidentally sees it, and Chewy went apeshit. OH MY HEART.

Maz. Lupita Nyong'o's voice work. MAZ. Maz forever.

LADY STORMTROOPER BOSS.

"You might not recognize me because of my red arm." Hahaha!

"Is there a trash compactor?" Hahaha!

"Keep the jacket. It suits you." MY HEART THO!

When Rey forced the lightsaber out of the snow. OMG.

When J.J. Abrams flip-flopped the traditional (and CONSTANTLY infuriating to me!) camera angles to shoot women (angle camera down) and men (angle camera up) during several key scenes. WE WERE LOOKING UP AT REY!

Finn.

Rey.

Finn and Rey.

Rey and Finn.

That there are misogynists who can't enjoy the film because of their own bigotry. Haha! Sucks to be you! And no, jerkoffs, Rey is not a Mary Sue AND THE REASON SHE DEFEATED KYLO REN IS BECAUSE HE WAS INJURED AND ALSO CONFLICTED AND ALSO JUST KILLED SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO HIM AND ALSO HAS THE WEIGHT OF A MOVEMENT ON HIS SHOULDERS AND SHE WAS FIT AND FIGHTING FOR HER OWN SURVIVAL AND SURE IN WHAT SHE WAS DOING AND HAS BEEN A SCRAPPY SURVIVOR MOST OF HER WHOLE DAMN LIFE AND LITERALLY FIGURED OUT THE FORCE ON HER OWN. And if you can't appreciate any of that, then you deserve to not like Star Wars.

There is just soooooo much more, but I will stop myself now before I go on all day. (WHICH I COULD.) I will just say this one last thing: The Force Awakens reached $1 billion in box office in just 12 days, and is smashing just about every other record ever.

Maybe now we can put to bed the bullshit that movies with female and/or nonwhite protagonists don't make money?