Primarily Speaking

image of a clown car filled with seven clowns, whose faces I have replaced with GOP candidates
Beep beep! The clown car has arrived! From left to right: Republican presidential candidates Rand Paul, Mike Huckabee, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Ben Carson, Lindsey Graham, and Carly Fiorina.

You know the primary season is in full swing when I start spending my time doing Photoshops as BEAUTIFUL and IMPORTANT as this one!

The GOP Clown Car is hurtling down the Reprehensible Politics Promenade at full-tilt now, and here's just a cool headline at the Washington Post: "The Koch brothers try to rein in the GOP presidential clown show."

"Send in the clowns! But not so damn many of them!"—The Koch Brothers.

Of course, the Koch Brothers aren't the only billionaires with money burning holes in their pockets! Larry Ellison, weirdo billionaire, is also fixing to get it on the act, and it looks like he's putting his money where Marco Rubio's mouth is, or whatever.

And in case there are any other conservative billionaires who have money to burn, but haven't found any candidates among the hundreds already running at whom they want to throw their dollars, George Pataki says he will announce his candidacy later this week. Terrific!

Boy oh boy, if I were an eccentric conservative billionaire who hated giving money to people in need but loved buying gold toilets and Republican politicians, I would be SO MAD at all these candidates! You know how conservatives hate choice! The field is so cluttered with bozos at this point, it's like trying to find the perfect piece of garbage at the biggest garbage dump in all of Garbageland!

In other clown car news, Rick Perry is hanging out in Iowa. And Carly Fiorina is hanging out in New Hampshire. "We were here first! So you have to like us best!" Or something.

On the other side of the aisle, Bernie Sanders is letting loose [CN: video may autoplay at link] about the one percent and "a casino-type capitalism, which is out of control, where the people on top have lost any sense of responsibility for the rest of the society." YES!

And Hillary Clinton has just embraced the fuck out of the pantsuits meme, offering a t-shirt called "the everyday pantsuit tee." LOVE. (I also love that it goes up to a size 28. That's not all-inclusive, but it's a lot more so that most political campaign sizing.)

Talk about these things! Or don't. Whatever makes you happy. Life is short.

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