The Walking Thread

[Content Note: Descriptions of violence. Spoilers are lurching around undeadly herein.]


Daryl stomping on a piñata, to get all the candy out!
When last we left our totally trepid band of zombie slayers, Grimes Gang had arrived at Aarontown, and everyone was very RELUCTANT and SUSPICIOUS about this community of people who are willing to provide them with comfort and sustenance and friendship in exchange for some lessons on surviving the zombiepocalypse.

This week, everyone is still very RELUCTANT and SUSPICIOUS. So, as per usual, we're whipping right along the narrative arc at the pace of a dead snail. RIP metaphorical snail.

The episode opens with Sasha laying awake in her new house, staring at photos of the happy white family who used to live there. She carries the framed photos out to the woods and shoots at them. When no zombies show up to try to destroy her, she is discombobulated. "Come and get me!" she says, but no zombies come to get her, because the zombies all take a nap when the writers need to make a point.

Meanwhile, Grimes, Carol, and Daryl meet in the woods to hatch a plot for stealing guns from the armory, so they can defend themselves from the Aarontownians if need be. Carol says she'll trade on her Silly Lady Dodobrain persona to leave the window unlatched when no one is looking. Another powerful moment for womankind on The Walking Dead.

The episode progresses with more RELUCTANCE and SUSPICION, and every conversation about every thing between every member of Grimes Gang with every person from Aarontown has an IMPORTANT DOUBLE MEANING. Sure, it might seem like Daryl and Aaron are having a conversation about something else, but when Aaron says, "Fear makes you stupid" (or whatevthefuck he said), he's really talking about Grimes Gang. There are fully one million IMPORTANT DOUBLE MEANING exchanges like that one, and in case you missed any of them, don't worry—I'm sure there will plenty more in the next episode!

Anyway. It's a real struggle for all the Grimes Gangians to navigate this new world. Sasha can't relax. Noah can't socialize. Daryl isn't sure what to do with himself. Sgt. Red Bull says things about how you don't want to have to use your weapon, but don't want to forget how to use it. Michonne hangs up her katana over the fireplace, and longingly gazes at a plastic cocktail sword (LOL FOREVER).

Deanna isn't making things easier on the twitchy Grimes Gangians with her casual indifference toward militaristic security, and her desire to throw a big welcome party for them, and her truly bonkers vision of turning Aarontown into a place with "industry, commerce, civilization." Ha ha okay player!

But she agrees to Grimes' surly and paranoid demand for more security around the perimeter, and she relents to Sasha's request to woman the watchtower.

Daryl goes hunting, and stumbles across Aaron in the woods, and Aaron is amazed that Daryl can tell the difference between a zombie and a human just by sound. For reasons unknown, Daryl does not simply tell him, "Well, you weren't gurgling and gasping like a trash compactor drowning in a mall fountain, so it was pretty easy, actually."

They try to capture a horse, but they get overrun by zombies, and then so does the horse, and it is sad. There are many IMPORTANT DOUBLE MEANING exchanges during this whole sequence, like how the horse is getting more feral the longer it's out there on its own, and how it got killed even though they were trying to help it.

If you didn't watch the episode, but want the full experience of listening to all this IMPORTANT DOUBLE MEANING repartee, just hit yourself over the head with a brick.

At Deanna's party, which is surprisingly well stocked for the zombiepocalypse, Grimes makes googly eyes at his married lady friend, which makes me barf one hundred times, and Sasha freaks out that a nice black lady is worried about making her a nice dinner, because she should be worried about being mauled to death instead, and Grimes has a terrific dick-measuring contest with Deanna's husband, who built the wall around Aarontown, and Deanna calls the contest a tie, because they are both great, even though it's OBVIOUS OMG SO OBVIOUS that Grimes is a superhero who has definitely led his people to safety with great decision-making and solid beard skills.

Carol sneaks off to the armory to steal guns while everyone is partying. But a little boy who wanted more of the cookies she baked for the party follows her and catches her. She threatens to leave him tied to a tree for the zombies to devour if he tells anyone, but she'll bake him lots more cookies if he doesn't. DECISIONS DECISIONS.

Daryl skips the party altogether, and Aaron invites him to have dinner with him and his partner Eric. Daryl slups spaghetti and wipes his mouth on his sleeve, in case you misunderstood that he was being compared to a wild animal in earlier IMPORTANT DOUBLE MEANING conversations with Aaron.

Aaron tells him he wants Daryl to be his new sidekick on recruiting missions, because he doesn't want Eric to risk his life anymore. He sweetens the deal by giving Daryl a motorcycle left in his garage by the previous resident, and convinces him by talking about how they're both outsiders. "You're just like me, because I'm gay and you're very dirty!" Daryl seems pretty happy about the whole thing.

So happy, in fact, that when Grimes and Carol and Daryl reconvene at their secret woodland meet-up to distribute the guns Carol stole, Daryl doesn't even want one. He's gonna try to fit in and trust his new friends. Grimes definitely takes a gun because OBVIOUSLY.

Later, Constable Grimes is patrolling the streets of Aarontown and sees his new lady friend, whose name I don't know but let's call her Blaura Blinney, because she looks like a B-version of Laura Linney, walking down the street with her husband, and he puts his hand on his hidden piece. Oh good grief. OH GOOD GRIEF.

The episode ends with Grimes hearing a zombie on the other side of the wall, and pressing his stupid head against the wall to listen to it wail and thrash. Ugh. He looks at a red A that Blaura Blinney's son stamped on his hand at the party, which definitely doesn't stand for Aarontown but should, which her son said made him "one of us." BUT IS HE ONE OF THEM?! There ain't no other fools leaning against a wall jerking off to the sound of a frustrated zombie!

Next week: More of this crapola.