It Is Time for a Flula Break!

Flula, a young, thin, white man speaking in German-accented English directly to the camera while lying in what looks like a daybed with a frilly cover: I need pants. Yesterday I did have an accident with my pants. It— Not like a [gestures downward with his hand] bowel, bowel move; no liquid accident. It was a dancing— I was dancing, and then [makes an upward motion with his hand] rrrrip! Whoop! Down in the place that is, you know, needing not rips? [meaningful look]

So I'm purchase new pants today; I go a stores—I visit, ahh, the Gap, I did go. I see pants; they are nice, but ahh, they are nice, but the rei├čverschluss, the zippy [makes zipping motion with hand] was broken.

And so I did say to the Gap, the Gap woman... I said, "Hello. I like your pants here; however, the zippy is broken. May I receive discount for, you know, for this?" And she looked me like [makes disgusted face] like a what? And she say, "What—you want to have your cake and eat it, too?" And then she continue folding sweaters.

[makes confused face] What? [confused noise] What? Have a cake and eat it, too? Who is caring of cake? This is my moment of needing pants! I'm not in a moment of needing desserts.

Cake? Who— You want to have a cake and eat it, too? Well, first here this purposes of cake is the eating! Why shall I else have the cake? This is why I would like a cake. If I like a cake, I would like to eat it!

What do you do with cake? What do you do with cake, Gap Lady? You bake a cake... "Finished! Frosting!" [mimes frosting a cake] "Oh, no eating!" Open window and voppitabop! [mimes tossing cake out open window] Hello to street! And cars and beep beep splat splat! Then some hours later: Squirrels.

What? No, this is not how cake is working! This is not how my pants is working! I would like to have this pants.

I would like— I do not want to have the cake and eat it, too; I would like to have the pants and wear them, too. As this is purpose of pants. This is why pants are existing. So please sell to me. I will fix the zippy. It's not hard.
Then some hours later: Squirrels. Oh my god. LOL FOREVERRRRRRRRRRR.

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