Assvertising

[Content Note: Misogyny; gender essentialism.]

What is this commercial?

A young thin white brunette woman stands in her kitchen, behind an island which separates the kitchen from the living room, where her young thin white brunette husband is playing video games with three of his young thin male friends, one of whom is also white, one of whom is Latino, and one of whom is black.

"Greg, I thought we were gonna watch our show!" she says, to his back. He turns to her and says, "As soon as we finish this level."

Her head rolls back exasperatedly. She takes a sip from her glass of Rumchata (an alcoholic beverage) on the rocks. Suddenly, the lights go blue, pop music starts, and her husband and his friends turn into a boy band, singing as they do a choreographed dance: "There's a bunker on the right / Watch out! / I'll lay down suppressive fire / Mikey, launch an RPG! / Keep the formation tight / So tight! / Once we've cleared this forest / Then it's on to victory!"

The woman holds the bottle of Rumchata in her hand and looks at it curiously. Her husband then turns to her and sings: "I know I said we'd start our show / Over twenty minutes ago / Back then my health was in the red / And I thought that soon we'd all be dead!"

Suddenly the woman is smiling and hopping up and down excitedly like she's at an actual concert. She dances in the background as the men sing: "Lock and load / We're on the attack / Enemies all around us / But there's no turning back / Hey now / Time to invade / Head's up! Look out! What's that? Oh no! / GRENADE!"

A fire ball appears on the screen, followed the words: "MISSION FAILED."

The lights go back to normal, catching the woman still dancing and saying, "Woo!" The men look at her, and she says, "Oh, come on! You can't give up that easily!"

Text onscreen reads, and a female voiceover says, "Rumchata. Pour yourself a vacation."

Rumchata: Get drunk so you don't care if your husband plays video games with his friends all night while ignoring you, even if he promised to spend time with you.

I mean, shit, you don't want to be a nagging wife, do you? Don't you want to be a cool chick who doesn't need or expect anything from her intimate partner and just wants him to do what makes him happy? DRINK UP SO YOU'RE NOT SUCH A BITCH.

Could I hate this more? No.