The Walking Thread

[Content Note: Violence. Spoilers are lurching around undeadly herein.]

image of Daryl sitting near a campfire, looking despondent
Yup, that's pretty much how I feel, too.

After last week's episode, where we caught up with Grimes, Carl the Hat, Michonne, and absolutely no one else, this week we got to see what everyone else has been getting up to since the big Shootout at Patriarchy Corral.

First we meet up with Daryl and Blonde Girl, who narrowly escape some lurching zombies before setting up camp and building a fire. Time for s'mores! And looking very miserable!

Blonde Girl wants to go track the other survivors, but Daryl is all Daryl Downer about it, so Blonde Girl is like, "FINE I'LL DO IT MYSELF!" and runs off on her own, which is very smart obviously. Daryl follows her blah blah remains of a zombie attack blah blah oh noes they're being attacked blah blah stabby stab they're fine phew.

Blonde Girl writes about all of this in her diary. Are you there, Hershel? It's me, Blonde Girl. Later, she burns the pages. "No one's going to publish this!"

Next we meet up with Tyreese and the two young girls whom Carol had taken under her wing, Mika and Lizzie. Lizzie is almost certainly the real culprit in the arson for which Carol took the fall, and for which she was banished to not make Tyreese mad, so it's MEANINGFUL IRONY that Tyreese is now Lizzie's protectorate.

They've also got Baby Zombie Whistle Grimes in tow, because of course they do. Is anyone is surprised that Baby Zombie Whistle Grimes is still alive? I HOPE NOT. Because if you're surprised, you may be at risk for accidentally punching yourself in the face. SO BE CAREFUL.

Baby Zombie Whistle Grimes is really living up to her name, as Mika and Lizzie hide in the woods with her while Tyreese fails to save some strangers from a zombie attack. Before he dies, one of the strangers tells Tyreese to follow the train tracks to find a safe haven. Oh boy. I mean, the last place that Tyreese believed was a safe haven was Captain Murder's Murder Compound, so PROCEED WITH CAUTION, TYREESE.

In another non-surprise, Carol reappears. Because of course she reappears, and of course she reappears specifically with the group where she can play mother to three young girls. You didn't expect Tyreese to carry that baby, did you?

Next we meet up with Maggie, Sasha, and Bob. Sasha is fixing up Bob's shoulder, where he got shot, and it would be great if they had a bottle of alcohol to clean out the wound HA HA OH WELL. In a repeat of the scene we just saw with Blonde Girl and Daryl, because the writers of this show are fucking geniuses, Maggie decides she's going to take off to find Glenn, and Sasha and Bob reluctantly go after her.

A ways down the road—it seems like barely a hundred yards, but it could have been sixty-two miles, since time and space make no sense in this show and never will—the three of them find the Grimes Jail Escape Bus, on which Glenn is presumed to have escaped. The bus is filled with zombies, but is also closed tight. (Don't even think about how that is possible, because it will break your brain and/or infuriate you because this fucking show.) They work out a system where Sasha will let out one zombie at a time, Maggie will kill the zombie if it's not Glenn, and Bob will stand nearby uselessly.

It's a pretty terrific system until the zombies overwhelm Sasha. Maggie goes on a zombie killing spree, then gets on the bus to investigate. There is one male zombie with dark hair trapped face-down on the bus floor. IS IT GLENN?! (Of course it's not Glenn. It was never going to be Glenn.) Maggie turns over the zombie without the audience seeing its face, then kills it, and laughs mirthlessly. Cut to commercial. Oh the tension.

Just kidding. There is no tension.

When we come back from the break ("See you in two and two argle bargle!"—Zombie Chuck Woolery), we meet up with Glenn ("OMG HE'S ALIVE! I'M SO SURPRISED!"—No One), who is still back at Grimes Jail, passed out on a ledge with a zombie horde reaching for him and gurgling just below. So many flannel shirts!

He searches for Maggie and, having not found her, decides to bug outta there, wisely clad in riot gear. On his way out, he finds Fistbump Sister, aka Tara, who looks stricken. He tells her he needs her help to escape, and gives her a gun.

They fight their way outta Grimes Jail, which has been absolutely overrun by zombies, thanks to Captain Murder's awesome plan to ruin the jail in order to inhabit it (WHUT), and then they hit the road together so Glenn can find Maggie. Tara is wracked with guilt over having chosen the wrong side in the Shootout at Patriarchy Corral, and for having believed Captain Murder that Grimes Gang were bad people, when clearly they are THE BEST. She also lets it slip that Hershel's dead, and Glenn tells her that Hershel was "a great man." Eh.

A swarm of zombies descends on them, and Glenn collapses to the ground while Tara takes care of business. A truck pulls up and Tara shouts at them, "Hope you enjoyed the show, assholes!" which makes me laugh SO HARD.

Because Captain Murder is dead, and we can't go too long without another white patriarch to battle Grimes for the souls and loyalty of Grimes Gang, a white dude gets out of the truck and says to Tara in reply, "You got a damn mouth on you. What else you got?"

Welp. This new sanctuary looks like it will be fun!

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