Via Shaker Alison, here is video of 19-year-old US figure skater Jason Brown's long program at the National Championships, which earned him a second-place finish and a trip to the Winter Olympics. Says Alison (whom I am quoting with permission): "THAT VIDEO. Holy. Fucking. Fuck. I now believe in angels, magic, unicorns, and I'm pretty sure that dude can divide by zero if he wanted to." LOL!

I have no ability to do a meaningful transcript of this video, since I love ice skating but have NO IDEA what any of the jumps or moves are called, so here is my best attempt at conveying the wonderfulness that is this video: Jason Brown, a thin white teenage boy with brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, wearing a sparkly green shirt, black slacks, and grey skates, hugs his white female coach on the side of the rink before taking the ice. They squeeze hands and he skates out gracefully onto the ice to the sound of cheers.

A male commentator notes that Brown doesn't have a quad jump in his routine, but he has a great ability to connect with the audience, "and, by extension, the judges."

Brown takes position and waits for his music, which is Irish stepdance folk music, to start. He raises his arms, and spins slowly. Swoosh. Spin. Backwards skating with flowy arms to pick up speed. Side splits! Double spinny jump! Backwards with flowy arms. Triple spinny jump! Another spinny jump! T-spin. Another t-spin. Grabby skate over head! Tra-la-la across the ice. BIG SPINNY JUMP! T-spin. Grabby skate behind back. T-spin jump crouch-spin combination!

The music picks up, and now comes the sass! Little skippy footwork. Bippity-bop. Tra-la-la. Kickity-kick the skatey feet! The audience claps in rhythm with the music. Shruggy arms sideways. Kicky spins! Ice cartwheel! Backwards with flowy arms. Shimmy hips! DOUBLE SPINNY JUMP! The audience roars.

Fast skating now. Air splits! Ta-daaaa arms! Another double spinny jump! He is landing all of the spinny jumps perfectly! Cheers! Big wide spin while reaching down to touch the ice. I OWN THIS ICE! Spinny jump. Backwards with flowy arms. Skating SO CLOSE to the wall! Side splits! Spinny jump! Cheeky hop. Arms-up spin. Shimmy hips! Backwards kicks. Hoppity-hop. Skate skate skate.

Here comes the big finish! The audience claps and cheers. Flowy arms. Shimmy hips. Spinny jump! Launching air split jumpy thing! T-spin! Crouch-spin! T-spin! Crouch-spin! ALL KINDS OF SPINS! Kickity-kick AND POSE! The end! Standing ovation!

Roses rain down onto the ice. Brown looks so happy, and he waves at the crowd and bows. He hugs his coach as he leaves the ice, and they wait for the scores to come in. THEY ARE AMAZING SCORES! 182.61. Brown squints at the monitor and looks thrilled and overwhelmed. He hugs his coach. They cut to the competitor he just knocked out of second, who applauds and grins and gives the thumbs-up. Brown mouths "thank-you" and waves to the crowd with a big grin on his face. He covers his face with his hands, still smiling.

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