"Wujing doesn't exist." "That's what they said about Deep Throat. And the g-spot."
Oh, James Spader. You make this show so much better than it should be! Everything you say and every expression you make is priceless! You have turned the art of the contemptuous laugh into a perfected science! You are a character named Red Reddington who buys fedoras in bulk from a trusted personal haberdasher, and you are THE BEST!
In last night's episode: Something something Chinese spy killer. Agent Elizabeth Keen and Evil Genius Red Reddington are GOING IN. Meanwhile, Agent Keen tests her secret-spy husband's gun by shooting it into a barrel of water-soaked telephone books ("Hey, we need those to look up phone numbers!" — No one.) and then takes the bullet and casing to FBI HQ to have them tested against outstanding cases. Something something hats.
Agent Meera Malik, who came onboard in Episode 2 and is played by the amazing Parminder Nagra and is already bending it like Beckham as a kickass FBI colleague, puts a tracking device that looks like a Nicotine patch on Agent Keen. It won't be picked up by the Bad Spies' sensors, but it doesn't even matter, because the Bad Spies' HQ is an impenetrable steel cave in the earth's core or whatever. WE'VE LOST HER. No worries—she's with Red Reddington, who will do anything to protect her.
Something something computers. Something something guns. Something something fast talking Reddington. Agent Keen is a quick thinker who sticks her patch tracker on Wujing's car, and the FBI totally bust him. Huzzah!
The report comes back on Agent Keen's secret-spy husband's gun. CLASSIFIED. Damn. But at FBI HQ, Mike from Homeland gives the unredacted report to Lock from The Matrix and they don't tell us what it is but OH SHIT WHO IS THIS GUY THAT HAS PRANK-MARRIED OUR LOVELY AGENT KEEN?!
In other news, Agent Keen and Red Reddington have another awkward and totally fake conversation that would never happen in the real world in infinite years of monkeys typing conversations for humans to have about her father. IS HE HER DAD? He's her dad, right? Surely, he's her dad. But isn't that too obvious? Is it a DOUBLE-BLUFF? It's so obvious that he's her dad that it can't be that obvious so he's not her dad but HA HA GOTCHA he's her dad?!
If he's not her dad, what's the deal? Did he kill her dad? Does he owe his life to her dad? Is Blane McDonnagh her dad?! I bet it's Blane McDonnagh.
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