Rob Walker has a problem with the fake reviews on Amazon for Wendy Davis' running shoes. Apparently, they are just not funny enough:
I’ll leave it to others to determine what the Davis story means for politics; I am concerned about what it all means for goofing off on the Internet.Oh thank goodness. I was afraid no-one would address this key aspect of Davis' heroic filibuster. What with all the bodily autonomy and such, I hadn't even considered: are people supporting the right to choice funny enough?
... The Amazon page for Mizuno Women's Wave Rider 16 Running Shoe quickly filled up with hundreds of fake “reviews,” which various observers pronounced “awesome,” “passionate,” and “trenchant.”THE HORROR! THE HORROR! I wept, gently, for the crimes of my fellow pro-choicers. If only we had remembered that our primary purpose was to provide entertainment for the Doodz of Mt. Privilege! PLAY ON, PLAYERS!!!
But when I actually read the reviews, I discovered something no one seemed to be mentioning: They are not funny.
Consider these alleged highlights: “Guaranteed to outrun patriarchy.” “I tried on a pair at the local mall and suddenly Texas Republicans started telling me what to do with my genitals.” “If you are looking for a shoe that will never yield to the floor, pressure or good ol’ fashioned boy’s club bullying this is the shoe for you.” “Even if you wear these gems without sox for three days straight, they still smell better than a republican Lt. Governor who tries to push a low through past midnight.”HAHAHAHAHAHAA! Er.... I mean, uh, nope! That is definitely not funny. NOT FUNNY.
Whatever your politics may be, I seriously doubt you’re laughing at any of that.
Unless of course, you've actually had had to outrun patriarchy. If you live in a world where a state-sponsored inherently violent ideology threatens your health, reproductive capacity, and life. If defending agency is more important to you than preserving the "creative inspiration and genuine hilarity" of Amazon reviews.
Because as long as you're in a position where you don't have to give a shit about any of that uterus stuff, then I guess you can write the following with a straight face:
The Davis shoe responses do something altogether different – repurposing Amazon review space into just another medium for the same old party-line cheap shots. They are about as entertaining as status update along the lines of “there goes [Fox/MSNBC] again, distorting the truth!” or the childish name-calling of any given comment thread.Ah, yes, partisan name-calling. Because sure, complaining on World Net Daily that MSNBC refuses to cover Obama's nefarious plan to turn America into a Communist paradise via accessible healthcare and tastefully designed shoe racks is just like pointing out the horrors of the GOP's mandatory forced childbirth policies. It's almost exactly the same, except for where one is an unfounded conspiracy theory with interesting accessories, and the other is the state-sponsored valuation of fetuses above the rights of actually born human beings.
(But not human beings that matter, apparently.)
Well, send me a postcard from Mount Privilege sometime, Mr. Walker. I hear it's a beautiful view.
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