Dog Wants a Kitty

by Shaker BrianWS, who may or may not become a full-time contributor someday based on our next visit to The Oracle with Neo. FINGERS CROSSED!

Well, here goes my day...because I'm totally going to watch this another hundred times.

Owner (male voice; off-camera): Hey hey hey, remember how you wanted a kitten?

Dog (a black and white hound mix, trotting around back and forth in front of the unseen cameraperson sitting on a couch, making silly faces and barking and stuff, but its sounds have been replaced with the voiceover): Yep.

Owner: I went to the pet store today.

Dog: No way.

Owner: Yep, I did.

Dog: (excitedly walking) Well come on, let's go. I want to see!

Owner: Hang on, keep your collar on. You wanted a girl?

Dog: Yeah!

Owner: A tabby?

Dog: Yeah, that's right! (jumps up in the air) Oh, I can't believe it, you got me a cat! (looks around)...Where is she? Is, is she out here?

Owner: Wait, wait you didn't let me finish. So I went to the pet store and I looked at the snakes.

Dog: Snakes? Oh. Blech! I'm gonna just go over here.

Owner: Well, I didn't get one.

Dog: Okay, um....

Owner: No, no, then I went and I took a look around, right, and I looked at the, uh, guinea pigs. You know what guinea pigs are, right?

Dog: Yeah.

(dog continues to nod along and say "yeah" in between each animal on the owner's list)

Owner: Yeah, I looked at the mice, gerbils, parrots, newts, hamsters, kittens –

Dog: (interrupts) Oh oh, that's it! That's where you stopped because that's what you're gonna get me, a...

Owner: And the hermit crabs.

Dog: (tosses head around) OH COME ON!

Owner: Can you calm down now?

Dog: You better get me a kitten or I'm gonna chew this couch's arms right off!

Owner: Oh, you will, huh?

Dog: Now tell me what's going on!

Owner: Went to the pet store.

Dog: Yeah.

Owner: Saw the turtles –


(kitten meows in the background)

Dog: What...was...that?

Owner: Well, let me tell ya. You listening?

Dog: Yeah.

Owner: I went to the pet store. There were shelter kittens. So I picked one up.

(text onscreen says "pets need a pal to talk to")

Dog: Oh, no way! You got me a cat! Yeah! Oh! Oh! Oh! What does she look like? What does she look like?

Owner: You wanna go see her?

Dog: Um, yes. Yeah! Let's go!

(Owner stands up and follows dog into the next room; as the screen fades to black, the kitten mews and the dog says excitedly: "OH!")

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