HA HA PERFECT

Geraldo Rivera is "truly contemplating" a run for the US Senate in New Jersey.
"I mention this only briefly, fasten your seatbelt," Rivera said on his radio show. "I mentioned this only briefly to my wife...but I am and I've been in touch with some people in the Republican Party in New Jersey. I am truly contemplating running for Senate against Frank Lautenberg or Cory Booker."
That's so perfect because there are so many empty vaults that need investigating in the basement of the Capitol!

* * *

Because I have no commentary beyond a derisive snort, I will instead share (again) one of my favorite stories about my Nana Mil...

Once, she was visiting us in Indiana for the holidays (when I was about 13), and we saw a promo for an upcoming episode of Geraldo—back when he was a daytime talk show scandalmonger, before he became the highly reputable journalist for Fox News that he is today. It was one of those adverts that announced the topic and requested guests: "Prostitute Grannies! If you want your grandma to stop selling her body on the street, call 1-800…"

I told Nana that I was going to call, because I was tired of her wild whoring.

She took a long drag, exhaled with a raised eyebrow, pointed at me with her cigarette, and said without missing a beat: "Don't mess with my livelihood."

I laughed for approximately ten million years.

a picture of me as a toddler, sitting on the floor next to my grandmother, on whose head I've placed an open book
The Pink Petulance and her nana, who was being made to wear a book on her head, circa 1976.

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