At the Intersection of Survivor and Fat

[Content Note: Sexual violence; fat hatred.]

There are two things frequently said to or about me, because I am a fat woman who writes about the rape culture:

1. You're so fat/ugly that no one wants to rape you.

2. You're fat because you were molested.

Both of these things are supremely ignorant things to say. Rape is not a compliment, and one's conformance to or divergence from the kyriarchal beauty standard is not an indicator of one's likelihood of being victimized by sexual violence. And although there is some correlation between childhood sexual trauma and childhood and/or adult obesity, especially in girls and women, not every person who is fat is fat because of (or exclusively because of) sexual violence.

Every time I have been sexually assaulted—raped; sexually harassed; groped, frotted, or masturbated in front of on the subway—I was already fat.

These narratives are not merely ignorant; they are flatly false. And they disappear survivors like me.